


It's hard. It's tiring. It's better.

by ninchannie



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Plug, Angry Sex, Barebacking, Bottom Seo Changbin, Breathplay, Breeding, Chan is possessive and territorial, Choking, Cock Slapping, Consensual Sex, Crying, Dom/sub Undertones, Enemies to Lovers, Hate Sex, Humiliation, Light Bondage, M/M, Mentioned Han Jisung | Han, Mentioned Ravi, Omorashi, Overstimulation, Painplay, Pillow Fucking, Rimming, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Shower Sex, Subspace, Top Bang Chan, Underground Rapper Seo Changbin, Watersports, Wet & Messy, at the end finally, bonding over getting tested, cock stepping, setting up limits, underground rapper bang chan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:27:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22975507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninchannie/pseuds/ninchannie
Summary: “Is this okay?” Chan’s hand is now on Changbin’s cheek, stroking lightly and Changbin melts into it, still so unused that they touch like this now.“If you kiss me…”Chan feels his heart erupt with feelings, not able to hold back a smile, because Changbin is standing there in front of him, half naked with his hands tied up and he is about to present himself fucking a pillow to Chan and of all things he is asking for a kiss.Why did it take them so long to come to this?OrCB97 and SpearB are enemies in the underground rap scene. Through a sudden change in circumstances, it seems that what began as simple rivalry and turned to hateful fucking, might become a little more than that...
Relationships: Bang Chan & Seo Changbin, Bang Chan/Seo Changbin
Comments: 37
Kudos: 393
Collections: SKZ Fuckfest





	It's hard. It's tiring. It's better.

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: 
> 
> \- they have unsafe sex without thinking about the consequences, irl you have to set up boundaries and make sure your partner is clean, I do not want to advertise any kind of unsafe behaviour with this!  
> \- there will be a small scene of watersports in the beginning, if you don't like it you can skip a bit further in the story, as it won't influence the progression  
> \- though they have rough sex they are both consenting adults and want to do it that way  
> \- the procedure of getting tested is based on my own experience, I bet it works a bit differently wherever you live, but I could only write it realistically from my perspective  
> \- Changbin falls into subspace at some point and Chan gets him out of it through pain. They both get off on this, but irl you always have to check up on your sub and should not do these things to them without making sure they want it

“You stumbled over your words earlier. Even that newbie J.One can do better than that.” Chan is already opening his belt as they make their way over to the backstage locker room. At least they _have_ a secluded room in this venue, completed with showers and toilets, all in preparation for the big concerts that take place there each weekend.

“Probably because I saw your ugly ass face backstage, fucker.” They haven’t even closed the door and Changbin is yanking off his shirt, throwing it carelessly on the ground, it is seeped with sweat anyway.

Chan pushes him roughly into the next locker, a loud metallic noise echoing through the room and Changbin groans as the air gets knocked out of him. They don’t care if someone hears, everyone who works backstage knowing of their special habits and sure to keep miles between themselves and the room after each gig.

“Can you shut up and get on your knees already, fucking slut? Stop talking for once and do something useful with your mouth.” Chan is already pushing the other down effortlessly, Changbin making quick work to pull Chan’s ripped black jeans down enough to get his dick out.

Quite obviously, Chan was hard for a while already, his tip glistening with precum. The rush of being on stage, mixed with good music and loud basses always awakens his arousal. Changbin pulls Chan’s foreskin back, not caring if he’s being rough or not, just wanting the other’s dick in his mouth already.

“What are you doing, slut.”, Chan spits, brows rising in anger. “Stop touching me with your filthy hands.” He gestures for Changbin to move his hands, pulling his arms up at the wrists as soon as they are in reach. Slamming them into the locker above his head and effectively pinning him in place pulls another moan out of Changbin.

“Aw, someone is angry, _cute_.” Changbin smirks, feeling himself hardening up already at the way the other is handling him. He hates how he likes this, how CB97 is the only person to make him feel this way. That guy of all people, the person he despises most in the world since before they even met in person.

It started with simple rivalry, who could land the bigger gigs, get more sells, louder applause, but it soon turned personal, the pure mention of _CB97_ making him angry. Changbin’s hatred is only spurred on, when Chan takes one hand off of his wrists to grab his own dick and slap it against Changbin’s cheek.

“Shut up already. You do realize how pathetic you sound, right? Sitting between my legs about to get your mouth fucked and still not behaving. You’re just a desperate slut after all, getting on your knees so easily.” Chan chuckles evilly after, still lightly smacking his length against Changbin’s face and occasionally hissing at the contact on his sensitive length.

“Only for you, asshole.”

And that exactly is the thing. No matter how often they do this, how often they drag each other to the back of the venues they perform at, no matter how often they fuck each other’s brains out, they only do it with each other, never with someone else.

So maybe there is a slight glint of softness in Chan’s eyes at Changbin’s words, and maybe Changbin blushes ever so slightly at saying them, glad for the shadow Chan is throwing over him.

“That’s right. You’re mine to ruin.”, Chan’s voice is creepily sweet given their situation, quickly changing back to its former angry edge however. “As if anyone would even want such a slut after I’m done with you.”

And with that he presses his tip against Changbin’s lips, the other quickly opening wide and taking a deep breath, knowing it will be his last chance to get one for a while.

Chan pushes in in one smooth motion, not stopping until he hits the back of Changbin’s throat, and he can feel him gag around his length.

As much as Chan hates to admit it, Changbin has gotten awfully good at this, taking him deep so much easier than the first time they did it. He pushes against the resistance either way, slamming Changbin’s head in the locker by the pure force of his hips and it sends delicious vibrations around his length when Changbin can’t help but moan at it.

Drool is already dripping out of the corners of Changbin’s mouth, running down his chin and falling on the floor and he tries to open up even wider, to relax his throat and let Chan in completely, because he knows that the other won’t pull out until he is completely engulfed by Changbin for a few seconds.

Tears already start to roll down Changbin’s face, Chan laughing devilishly at the sight and keeping up the steady pressure of his hips.

Under him, Changbin grows more and more frustrated, his own erection too hard in his tight jeans and his throat too stubborn to let loose for Chan. He tries to swallow, a choke retching through him and even more saliva dripping out of his mouth, making a mess of his chin.

He can take shallow breaths through his nose, becoming more and more frantic with the pure _need_ to get Chan completely inside of his mouth. Changbin’s hands are already numb from being held up, blood heading to more important places than the tips of his fingers.

It feels good for Chan, the strain he can feel from Changbin, the way he can _feel_ the smaller try and accommodate him, it feels good but it’s not nearly enough. So he uses the trick he knows works well, giving Changbin no other chance than loosen up.

Chan snakes one of his hands down and he pushes a few strands of sweaty hair out of Changbin’s face, faux-sweet in comparison to his next move. He fumbles for Changbin’s nose, pressing his thumb and forefinger together harshly and cruelly blocking any possibility for Changbin to get air.

It’s embarrassing but Changbin nearly comes on the spot, deprived of even the most primal of things, like breathing. He can’t help himself but open up, beginning to feel lightheaded as his body spasms in need of oxygen when Chan pushes in fully.

He releases Changbin’s nose then, giving him the chance to breathe in harshly where Chan’s pubic hair is pressing against his face.

Chan only revels in the feeling of being completely engulfed for a second, before pulling out completely with a gory wet sound and looking at his artwork.

Changbin’s eyes are shot red from breathlessness and tears, the latter painting his face and morphing into a foaming mixture of spit and precum around his mouth. Air fills his lungs with a rattling sound, coughs erupting when he tries to swallow down some spit and decides against it, rather just letting it drip out over his lips.

“Look at you, slut. So pretty.” Chan says breathless and gives Changbin no more chances to gasp for air, pushing back in completely now, mouth slack and throat loose for Chan to slide into.

It’s not often that they talk softly to each other, but Chan just can’t hold back at seeing Changbin like this, completely ruined at his mercy and still straining hard against his pants, nearly coming just from whatever cruel play Chan puts him through.

Head throbbing from being pushed against the locker repeatedly, Changbin closes his eyes, completely numbing every sense except for _feeling_. Tears trickle out of his closed lids steadily as Chan pounds into his mouth, relentless in pace.

Anyone walking by would probably be traumatized by the sounds alone, a grueling mixture of groans and moans, the occasional metallic thud of Changbin’s head or hands banging against the locker, skin slapping against skin and slick wet sounds accompanied by sporadic gags echoing through the room.

It’s incredible, really, how Changbin doesn’t suffocate on his spit when he breathes in through his nose, how he revels in the feeling of Chan fucking his throat raw, a sweet burn at its deepest spot, surely there for Changbin to feel the next day.

Chan feels himself approach his orgasm quickly, having been hard for a majority of the evening thanks to his stage high and now he has Changbin’s tight mouth around him, tongue probing and throat swallowing around him and it feels like heaven.

He tries his hardest to delay his climax by slowing his thrusts and instead of concentrating on the pace concentrating on the depth with which his cock is buried down Changbin’s throat.

Every swallow, every lick of Changbin’s tongue, every light scratch of teeth is all too palpable for Chan, eyes rolling back in his head and loud moans leaving his mouth with each slow drag. If it wouldn’t be Chan ruining Changbin like this the latter might actually think of the voice as beautiful.

All of the incredible feelings running through him would have long been enough to make Chan come, the only thing stopping him being his ego, dominating his every thought when it comes to Changbin, even this situation now. Chan would surely not be the first one to come.

So he moves his foot forward, spreading Changbin’s knees and travelling upwards to where he knows Changbin is desperate for release. Chan presses down with the heel of his shoe, feeling Changbin’s jaw go even more slack around him in surprise. It must hurt more than feel good, the hard material being rough against his erection already and Chan is definitely not pressing down lightly either. It only takes a few deep presses of Chan’s sole on Changbin’s erection, to have him come undone underneath him.

A new wave of tears rolls out from underneath of Changbin’s lashes, pleasure burning through him with each spurt of release that he can feel being spread around by Chan’s heel still pressing into his crotch.

He can’t stop but moan around the dick in his throat, suddenly everything feeling _too much_. Chan’s foot over his jeans, the tickling sensation of pubic hair against the tip of his nose, Chan’s musky fresh scent filling Changbin’s nose. He swallows down hard, working his tongue expertedly to get Chan off, to get him out and finally be able to fill his lungs with enough air again.

It only takes a few more thrusts for Chan to feel the knot in his stomach tighten and suddenly expand, white spots dancing behind his closed lids as he shoots his hot release down Changbin’s sore throat, pulling out during despite the oversensitive feeling and spurting the last few waves of white over Changbin’s spit slick lips.

As always it is a sight to behold and Chan is happy that Changbin has his eyes pressed shut in pleasure and also preparation for not getting hit in the eye by Chan’s release. Despite how much they might hate each other on stage and even behind the scenes, this special time, these few hours after every performance that give them pure bliss must mean something, right?

Licking off his lips Changbin notices the strong stare Chan has on him and the ever-so-strong grip on his hands. He shakes his arms, breaking free from it and stands up quickly, trying to get out of that position as quick as possible, because it makes his chest feel tight and his heart flutter. Not that he would ever admit that.

Feeling the uncomfortable dampness in his jeans, Changbin can’t stop but wince, quickly opening his button and zip to at least not have it pressed against his skin. Without another look at Chan, who is still standing in his spot as if he had taken roots, Changbin goes to where his backpack is stored away in a locker, opening it and pulling out a towel, shower gel and a spare change of clothing, always prepared since he went home drenched in sweat after his first gig and nearly caught a cold.

Already stepping out of his pants he now turns around, daring to look at Chan who is watching his every move from the same position, stark naked and not a care in the world.

“You coming?” Changbin asks confused when he steps out of his underwear and jeans, carelessly kicking them to the side, nobody will come in there right now anyway.

When he doesn’t get an answer, Changbin just turns around and walks into the small shower-toilet room attached to the backstage area, for artists only. He doesn’t notice how Chan bends down to pick up his underwear, or how he presses his face into the fabric and inhales it like his life depends on it. Maybe it’s better that way.

Chan doesn’t even know what has gotten into him, the urge to bend down and kiss Changbin after he came was so overwhelming, he nearly caved, which would probably have resulted in a slap to his face or kick to his balls. Both options he would rather avoid.

With Changbin’s scent engulfing him from the fabric, Chan wonders why it is that they hate each other that much. If he could for once look over his fog of despise, he could surely admit how talented the other is in rapping and totally enchanting a crowd, how he looks so adorable with his brows scrunched together when he comes, how he… Oh no, no, no, _no._ Chan is not allowed to have those thoughts, not for _SpearB_ of all people.

He quickly shakes that horrific thought away and follows Changbin to the bathroom, already hearing water running. Inside he finds the other already drenched in water, wet hair sticking to his face and body glistening in all the right ways.

Changbin has one hand between his legs, fingering himself open with spit and water and only waiting for Chan to join him in their usual ritual. Chan is once more frozen in place, too taken aback by the tingles the view sends through him and also the undeniable pressure in his lower stomach, forbidding him from getting hard.

“What are you waiting there for?”, Changbin snaps him out of his thoughts, fingers out of his ass and just letting the water run over him. “Are you too weak for a second round now, or what? You’re really getting worse and worse each time.”

He’s lying. If anything, Chan is getting _better_ with each time, but seeing him just standing there, not even hard again like usually is awakening Changbin’s bratty side.

“You can call yourself lucky that I have to piss so badly, or else you would choke on that sentence with my dick up your ass.” Chan says, glaring evilly towards the shower, but probably only resembling a hurt puppy.

“You’re literally going to take a shower with me and there’s even a toilet right there. We fuck like crazy but pissing in front of each other is too much? Get over yourself, fucking princess.” Maybe Changbin should have held back and just gotten over his need to get off once more. Maybe Changbin really shouldn’t have been so honest with how he knows Chan can snap, but maybe it is exactly for that reason that he says it in the first place.

Whatever it is, it must have worked, because sure as hell is an angry naked Chan making his way over to him and pressing him into the cold tiles only a few seconds later. Changbin can’t even begin to get embarrassed about the whiny moan leaving his lips, because there is already a hand wrapping around his throat, holding him in place.

“Maybe I should do it right here, huh? Piss on you and mark you my property like a fucking dog? And you would even enjoy that, isn’t that right slut?” Chan spits the words out like venom, not knowing where they even came from. Sexual activities including _piss_ was never something he felt the need to try, marking what is yours however actually makes it sound appealing.

Changbin’s eyes go wide, Chan didn’t just say that, right? He couldn’t know of the kinks Changbin would have, _right_? Or was he really that easy to read for Chan? Changbin is so shocked he needs a few long moments to collect himself, just staring disbelievingly at Chan’s face.

The older is about to take it back and leave the topic, when Changbin presses his body away with strong arms and actually sinks onto his knees, water running over his back and streaming into the drain right behind Changbin.

“If-if you want to?” Changbin can’t bring himself to look above Chan’s feet, so embarrassed that he would really even consider the other do something so humiliating to him.

“I never-… I mean do you want to?”, Changbin has never heard Chan be so unsure in his words. “Look at me, _please_.” He also never heard the other plead.

When Changbin looks up it’s the same Chan as always looking down on him, just that his cheeks are flushed crimson and he is gnawing on his lip, quick to stop himself when Changbin’s eyes land on him. It does something to Changbin’s heart, making it run and tumble and _ache_. Why that all of a sudden?

“I like it. You can try it out with me.” He nearly chokes on his words, so utterly degraded does he feel with Chan standing there and about to do _that_. It never felt this way with the others, sure dirty and humiliating but not like it would hurt if they wouldn’t like it. Now the fear alone of Chan not liking it pains Changbin.

“Y-yeah, I want to… thank you for letting me try it out…” With every word Chan utters the feeling in Changbin’s chest gets worse and he just wants Chan to begin and to get it over with, ready for their _thing_ to feel cold and distanced again.

“Come on, please, or I’ll change my mind.” He would never. Not with Chan.

“Stop being so demanding all of a sudden, brat.”, finally there is the Chan he knows again. “I just… How do I…” And there he is gone again. Changbin audibly groans, the skin of his face is burning, and his knees are hurting on the tiled floor and the water is getting cold and he just _needs something_ , already so painfully ready for anything.

“Do I really have to explain to you how you pee? Just let go and do what feels good for fucks sake.”

Chan has never seen Changbin so desperate and outraged and it has him shocked and frozen where he is standing, damp skin cold in the open air.

With another groan Changbin leans forward and pulls Chan closer by the hands, so he is only a foot-length away. As if moving a puppet, he wraps Chan’s hand around his own limp cock positioning it so it would perfectly aim on Changbin’s chest.

Chan is only awakened from his shocked haze, when he feels a sudden pressure over his bladder, nearly making him let lose then and there. As if a button is pressed, he roughly slaps Changbin’s hand away, making him sit back on his heels and look at him expectantly.

“Don’t act all tough, when I’m literally going to piss all over you, slut.” He spits and pumps his soft dick a few times, just to move him into the right direction, peeing on someone really takes some mental effort at first.

Changbin smiles satisfied and rests his palms on his thighs, arching his back to perfectly present himself to Chan. With a light press to his dick, as if urging himself to just do it, Chan let’s go, finally relieving the pressure that built inside of his bladder over the whole evening.

At first the pressure behind his stream is too shallow, only hitting on Changbin’s thighs, but even that is making him moan. Despite the shower running over his back, the feeling of Chan’s urine on him is so different, so much hotter and more intense and he lets himself fall into the feeling for a second, closing his eyes and trying to not come then and there.

When he looks up again, he half expects Chan to look disgusted or somehow displeased, but Changbin is pleasantly surprised, when he finds the same look of concentrated pleasure and shiny lustblown eyes as he usually sees during blowjobs or sex.

Chan is quick to let loose completely, stream flowing strong and splashing on Changbin’s chest with a loud sound resonating through the room. The liquid has a slight yellow tinge next to the clear water droplets of the shower and runs down over Changbin’s toned pecs and stomach, gathering between his thighs and slipping onto the tiles.

It really shouldn’t spur Chan on even more when Changbin rakes his fingers over his completely wet stomach, spreading the liquid around and basically massaging it in. He takes one hand even higher, directly to where Chan is aiming at the center of Changbin’s chest, where his heart sits underneath.

Changbin runs his fingers through the steady stream and brings them up to his mouth, sucking them in and licking every bit off to taste _everything_ Chan has to offer.

As much as Chan would like to try and continue, his bladder is emptying itself steadily and he quickly feels his stream come to a halt, only a few more pathetic drips coming out and landing right in front of his feet.

Changbin quickly bends forward, wrapping his lips around Chan’s hardening length and licking him clean, sucking out the remaining few drops of Chan’s urine and bringing him to full hardness.

There’s an awkward moment of silence where they just stare at each other when Changbin pulls off, but Chan is quick to change that by pulling him up and immediately pressing himself against him, not caring about the slight unstableness in Changbin’s stance or how his own pee is drenching both of their chests now.

He kisses Changbin, licking him open immediately and tasting the slick mixture of saliva, semen and urine and despite it not being delicious in any way it makes him moan, because this is _his_ , all of it, his release, bodily fluids and _his Changbin._

It turns him on more than anything has in a long time and he soon has to interrupt the kiss, because loud and needy sounds just keep spilling over his lips and it’s impossible to keep their lips locked together.

“You liked that, huh?” Changbin chuckles breathlessly and can’t stop to grin, so lucky does he feel.

“Not as much as you apparently.”, Chan grins too, gripping Changbin’s throbbing erection as he pushes them under the shower, only a quick sensation before he turns the smaller around and presses him into the wall face-first. “I suppose I should return the favour, right?”

It was Chan who did all the work but Changbin is easily forgetting that, when he can feel the other fall to his knees behind him and spread his cheeks apart. His breath hitches, because Chan is leaning in already and they _never_ tried this before.

Maybe there is a small hint of self-consciousness washing over Changbin when Chan’s tongue finally touches his rim, warm and wet and driving him insane with only one flat lick over his hole. He quickly forgets about it because the feeling is so different, so soft and delicate it doesn’t fit into their usual dynamic of angry sex.

Changbin’s sounds also don’t fit that descriptor anymore, high and whiny and he can’t keep his eyes open. Chan is being so careful and sweet, licking over his rim with the most lightest of touches and when dipping in doing so deliberately and soft and it’s so good, Changbin feels like this must be a dream.

Chan can’t help but smile in between kittenish licks, Changbin’s sounds so different to his raspy stage voice and it feels so real and raw, tasting and feeling him under his tongue, Chan never wants it to stop.

He can’t help but realize that something feels different. Where normally his own pleasure had been the most important, Changbin only a way to get off after an exciting stage, it is now most important to make the other feel good. To make sure he remembers this certain night as something more than just another fuck.

After a long time of Chan pleasuring Changbin in the best way, he can feel his legs start to get shaky, nearly slipping over from Chan’s tongue.

The older can’t hold back a chuckle at that, wiping his spit-slick lips with the back of his hand and standing up. Changbin tries his best to look intimidating, but with his face splotchy pink and eyes bloodshot he just can’t bring the character across.

Chan decides to take pity on him and quickly moves forward to steal another kiss before pushing Changbin’s legs apart easily due to the slippery floor. He already has one finger pushed into Changbin’s heat when the other speaks up with a shaky voice.

“You are really taking- _ah_ … i-it slow today.” Changbin’s brows are pushed together, face scrunched up in pleasure and maybe Chan would think of it as cute, if it wouldn’t be SpearB talking like that.

“You just can’t wait to get my dick up your ass because that’s the only thing you care about, slut.” With his words Chan pushes in three fingers at once, not caring about the pained yelp coming from Changbin.

“Y-you should really think of some more insults…” It’s not more than a whine, because Chan is spreading Changbin open and he is already so ready for this it feels like even the slightest of movements is too much.

Chan can’t help but feel personally attacked, quickly pulling out his fingers and pushing Changbin into the wall once more. He spits in his hand, wetting his erection with more than just the shower water and presses himself against Changbin’s opening.

He is already really worked up, pissing on Changbin and rimming him having been enough to quickly reach another high, so Chan is glad to see the other equally excited, skin fluttering under his tip.

“I think you like it when I call you slut.”, Chan growls right before pushing in to the halt with one quick motion. It takes his breath away, tightness and warmth so much on his already throbbing cock and Changbin is clenching harshly around him because of the sudden intrusion, making it feel even better. “Answer!”

Changbin knows he should really speak up and do as Chan tells him, but the stretch burns so deliciously and he is so hard, his brain has long left his body. A sharp tuck on his hair, head bending back to lay against Chan’s shoulder brings parts of his speech back.

“I l-like it… _your_ _slut only_.” He gasps when Chan pulls out nearly completely, leaving him sobbing for the feeling of fullness again.

“That’s right. My slut, and I want everyone to hear.” Chan pushes in quickly again, achieving the desired effect of a scream leaving Changbin’s mouth.

He wraps his hand around Changbin’s abandoned cock when he begins thrusting into him, wanting to make sure the other would come equally fast as him. Changbin is moaning loudly with every thrust, Chan knowing exactly where to move to hit his bundle of nerves and working his hand expertedly on his erection.

After all of their times fucking each other they should probably be used to this feeling, but neither of them is, making each time just as good as the one before, if not even better. Changbin thrives on feeling the snap of Chan’s hips and drag of his length inside of him and Chan can never get enough of Changbin clenching around him at all the right moments.

It doesn’t take them long at all, the evening having been long, and both already so riled up before getting to even fuck each other, so it is close to pathetic how quick Chan can feel his hips stutter and thrusts become erratic.

Changbin is all but sobbing on his dick, his own erection so painfully hard and it only takes a few more rolls of Chan’s thumb over his slit before he is shooting over his hand and the tiled wall of the bathroom. Chan is quick to follow, feeling Changbin spasm around him, so he quickly pulls out as Changbin readily falls to his knees in their familiar game.

With a few tucks to his length Chan comes over Changbin’s face again, not caring to try and avoid the other’s hair because they are showering already and why would he care anyway?

The tiredness immediately hits them, muscles sore from performing and stinging with every move now. Changbin is quick to stand up with wobbly legs and wash Chan’s remnants off his face and body, cleaning himself quickly so he can leave as soon as possible.

This is always the worst part for them. Leaving each other in a mix of after-sex affection and their usual despise for each other coming back. Chan usually takes a while to catch his breath after fucking, Changbin has learned, so he is already running from the shower when the other just moves under the stream.

He scrambles to dry himself up and pull his pants on in the locker room, probably looking a whole mess but no one can see him anyway. Normally he would try to leave before Chan is done showering, but today is different, Chan either showering much quicker or Changbin deliberately taking more time.

Whichever it is, Changbin is just pulling on his jacket when Chan comes out of the bathroom, stark naked and not able to hide his surprise at seeing Changbin still there.

Before he can say anything Changbin is by the door, bag slung over his shoulder but hesitating at the doorknob. For some reason he wants to say something to Chan, however the usual insult not feeling right either.

“Bye… C.” Is what he finally settles on, cringing at himself and ready for a fit of laughter to be directed his way. It doesn’t come.

Chan is taken aback by the words, surprised Changbin would even say goodbye in the first place. He considers his next words for a few seconds, the other now pulling the door open.

“Hey Spear…”, He begins, stopping Changbin in his tracks. “My name is Chan.”

He had never told anyone from their scene his real name, even slightly shocked at it coming out of his mouth now. Changbin is frozen in his place, feeling flustered because he knows how much it takes to reveal your name like that. He just can’t bring himself to do the same.

“See you soon, _Chan_.” And without turning back he is out of the door.

Chan misses a recording session for his next song and even a few gigs because he is really sick. His body is constantly fatigued, nothing edible staying inside and he is even feverish. He hopes for it to go away, but it doesn’t, so he eventually goes to a doctor, something he hasn’t done in years.

“If it hasn’t gotten better over such a long time, we should consider some other possibilities. When was the last time you had a check-up?”

And that’s when it dawns on him. No matter how much fun he always has with Changbin, he can’t say he really knows anything about him, and definitely not his record. How absurd is it then, to think a step further?

They never even used a condom, safe sex the last thing on their minds. Chan can think about one thing and one thing only: _How could I be so fucking stupid?_

That’s how Chan finds himself walking into the waiting room of the municipal HIV-center, hood pulled deep in his face and mask over his mouth. He has a note with the number thirteen in his hand, all of the tests here being done anonymously and the patients addressed with numbers.

There are only two other people in the room, and Chan decides to sit on the opposite side of one of them, relatively far away from both. The man opposite of Chan is nervously shaking with his left foot and has his head buried in the palms of his hands. He is similarly clad like him, all black and a beanie pulled deep over his forehead, a black face mask covering half of his face.

The stranger must have noticed Chan’s staring because a few moments later he looks up. When their gazes meet his leg stops shaking and Chan lets out a surprised gasp.

Chan would recognize these eyes anywhere, familiar with them from many intimate moments. _SpearB._

Before either of them can speak up a nurse opens the glass door to the waiting room, asking for number eleven to follow her. Reluctantly Changbin forces his eyes away from Chan’s face and stands up. This really can’t be true, can it? In what world do they get tested on the same day, in the same center? It can’t be real.

Chan looks after him, gaze not leaving the door even after the other is long gone. His heart is suddenly beating painfully, sadness washing over him, because since his doctor’s appointment the only thing he felt towards the other rapper had been pure hatred. Anger at what he might have infected him with.

Now seeing Changbin be nervous just the same, panic burning in his eyes, it makes Chan feel horrible for ever even thinking badly about him.

Changbin is completely choked up when he follows the nurse into another room, a doctor smiling lightly at him and shaking his hand.

He is asked to pull off his beany and facemask, purely out of politeness in front of someone elder, but it takes a lot out of Changbin. The doctor assures this topic is treated with utmost anonymity, but something still worries Changbin when he finally reveals his face.

The doctor asks many questions about Changbin’s health and reasoning for getting tested now. Explaining it makes his skin rise in goosebumps and a sour taste come to the back of his throat. Despite the doctor seeming very unfazed about the topic of Changbin sleeping with another man he is still used to being met with disgusted looks and slurs, making this even harder.

He remembers Chan in the waiting room, somehow soothing Changbin that they would both be going through this, suffering together and maybe if things would come down to the worst, they could help each other. No, Changbin can’t believe that he would be able to look at Chan ever again if the test would come out as positive.

The procedure is quick and easy, a small stab to his fingertip to get the blood before he is sent back to the waiting room. Chan is nearly jumping out of his chair at the sound of the door opening, the two now the only ones in the room after number twelve was called up a minute before Changbin came back.

Swallowing his pride Changbin sits down directly next to Chan, not turning to look at him but at least being close. It does worlds to calm both of them down.

“We are so fucking stupid.” He breaks the silence after a bit, still not turning to the other. Before coming back into the room Changbin debated calling Chan out, telling him if it wasn’t for his horny ass they wouldn’t be in this situation. He quickly realized that that is just plain out wrong, both equally at fault for finding themselves where they are.

“So stupid.” Chan only says, voice quivering and he hates that Changbin can see him like this, even the mask not enough to shield Chan away completely.

They wait in silence after that, both staring into space and captured by their own thoughts. Chan feels so torn, on one side happy that Changbin is right next to him, his presence soothing. On the other hand, he is furious and petrified, incredibly scared of what his results might hold.

After about fifteen minutes, Changbin’s leg having started shaking again after around ten, the nurse calls him back in. The few steps back into the room feel like the longest walk he ever took.

The doctor tells him about the need for safe sex, why Changbin should get tested regularly but he can’t really listen, fully aware now and never ever doing that mistake again. Finally, the doctor looks at a document and smiles lightly, eyes glinting towards Changbin.

“You’re all good. It’s negative.” His voice is light, and he smiles politely when Changbin shakes his hand goodbye, now also smiling and feeling like an incredible weight was lifted off his shoulders.

He still has the mask down under his chin from talking to the doctor and he doesn’t even care about pulling it up, any feeling of shame now gone because he _is not positive_.

Logically, Changbin can just go, no need for him to go back to the waiting room. The completely slumped over form of Chan he can see through the glass door of the room however convinces him otherwise.

There is another person in there too now, but he doesn’t care when he pulls the door open and pushes his head inside. Chan immediately turns around, hoping for the nurse to finally call up on him, but even more delighted to see Changbin. Changbin who is _smiling_ of all things.

“It’s gonna be fine, Chan. I’m negative.”, The name flows so easily from Changbin’s lips and Chan’s eyes light up at the words. It makes Changbin say the next sentence even happier now. “My name is Changbin by the way.”

And just like the last time they revealed a name he is out of the door, smiling at the nurse and leaving utterly giddy. Chan is feeling a similar way, because if Changbin is negative, how high is the probability of him being positive?

That’s not the only thing making him happy though, because finally he does not have to think about _SpearB_ anymore, no, Changbin is a much prettier name to call the other.

As if the message pushed something into place, the next thirty minutes go by in a blast. Chan is still nervous when he has to talk about his sex life with the doctor and when his blood is drawn, but the fact that Changbin is clean is enough to calm him down to at least scroll through twitter during his wait for the diagnosis.

He feels nauseous when he follows the nurse back into the room, this time however it’s his sickness kicking back in and not only the nervousness and fear.

The moment the doctor greets Chan, he has the feeling it’s over, that somehow, he has something and just didn’t infect Changbin, that this would mean the end to their relationship and possibly even his career.

The air in the room is much too thin and Chan panics enough to startle the doctor, who stops mid-sentence to try and calm him down. Considering that Chan isn’t paying attention to his words anyway, given his hyperventilating and shaking form, the doctor simply checks the report, not wanting to torture his patient even more.

“You can calm down. The test came out as negative.” And if Chan wasn’t shaking before, he for sure is now, out of happiness and relieve, jumping up and taking a deep breath, the first one in what feels like forever.

Despite the rush he felt after the diagnosis, Chan is trapped to the bed for a few more days still, slowly getting better but still a bit exhausted. It truly must have been the only thing keeping him from healing though, because as soon as he can down food again and stand for longer than a few minutes, he is back at the gym, working his body back to old strengths and maybe even new heights.

He practices and writes into the nights, worried that this unintentional break could have an impact on his skills, which is not something he needs right now. He just released his third mixtape two months ago and as a mix of a celebration for it going well and a small homecoming event, the club he had his first outing at is holding an anniversary concert.

Chan is one of two artists performing there and his fans have been excited for him ever since it was announced. He really doesn’t need a sickness to ruin that for them. On top of that there is some kind of freestyle battle planned and he is not ready to lose that, no matter if it is against Ravi, the other artist performing that night, or the mysterious guest his manager doesn’t want to tell him about.

To say Chan is excited for it would be an understatement. The venues he is now able to play at are growing bigger and bigger with each sold copy of his mixtapes, even mainstream charts now picking up on him. Of course, he is glad his dream is finally coming true, but the club the anniversary concert is held is a refreshingly small location, only a handful of people able to attend.

He can’t wait to recognize some of the people in the crowd and the friendly atmosphere, excited to meet the owner again who once was nice enough to allow him onstage all those years ago, making this career a possibility. It’s only a coincidence that someone else also started out in that club too, someone Chan disliked the first second he saw him on stage: Changbin.

Just like Chan, Changbin is also gaining more and more traction with each passing day, a similarly big fanbase to Chan’s now and also beginning to release his own music. Chan can’t bite down the slight bite of envy, because where he had to work hard to make this dream true, Changbin’s management is a bit more well known, making growth a lot easier.

Despite that nag there is something else lacing through Chan’s chest at the thought of Changbin. Something sweet and painful and something that he is definitely not ready to face just yet. His priority should be his music now and not some stupid heartache for a rivalling rapper.

Time flies rehearsing and getting back on track with his usual work-life balance, so before Chan knows it the evening has finally arrived, and he is happily sat in the small backstage room also functioning as a retreat for the staff.

Somehow J.One has gotten in there, babbling away with Ravi who is sat in a chair opposite of Chan. The newbie (who isn’t even _that_ new anymore) seems to be the life of the party, excitedly talking and leaning so close to Ravi, Chan thinks it must be uncomfortable for him.

He wonders if he might be the mystery guest nobody wants to tell him about and even teased on the ads outside of the club. Han, Chan learns is J.One’s name from overhearing him talk, surely is very talented, given he already has an incredible flow that could rival on an international level. He is yet to release his own music however, which has Chan a little reluctant about believing him to be the mysterious rapper.

He could always ask of course, but something in the way of how words just keep tumbling from Han’s lips like there is no tomorrow scares Chan, worried that he might drown in them and he really doesn’t need that right before going on stage.

It’s lucky that he goes first, vibrating with energy and so ready to get out there. The freestyle battle is supposed to be played between his and Ravi’s installments, of course after a few minutes for Chan to grab something to drink. Even for that, Chan is glad, given how he is always extremely hyped after performing and today there won’t be Changbin there to help him with that.

Despite his attempt at calming himself he is positively buzzing when the lights go down and he steps on the stage, familiar basses and beats picking up and the crowd’s cheers fill up the air, wild and untamed and like a drug.

He doesn’t know if it is that stage high of finally doing what he loves most again, or if his thoughts are still just drilled on that one thing since Changbin and him met in the waiting room, but Chan could swear he can see SpearB’s face in the crowd for a split second before the bright lights turn on and effectively make it impossible for him to make out a face in the crowd.

It has him nearly stumble over his first line, quickly acting it up as a joke with a dorky smile he sometimes acts out when the songs vibe with it. It seems to work because his fans are laughing as the movement of the crowd washes them from left to right, people dancing and screaming and singing with him and it’s his favourite thing in the world, so everything is quickly forgotten as he lets the music take over.

It always goes by in a feverish blast, he’s having so much fun dancing and jumping and rapping and Chan always compares it to a demon overtaking his body, making him feel good in every way possible. Seeing Ravi in the VIP area near the bar, cheering him on and body rolling to a particularly horny song, his fans basically grinding on each other and even the ones that don’t know him too well just vibing to the music, _his_ music. It is something he will never ever get tired of.

All too soon his last verse is finished and the music silences. Chan’s ears are ringing with every breath, body drenched in sweat as he says his thank you’s to the crowd and bows them farewell. It is always a bittersweet feeling to leave the stage, the crowd cheering louder than ever and adrenaline fueling every move, begging him to go back. On the other hand, lungs and muscles burn, his throat is dry and demanding for water.

Chan is escorted to the area next to the bar by someone who also takes his mic and earbuds away. Ravi is there to high-five Chan, the owner of the place congratulating him on an amazing show with a pat to the back. Even Han is there, smiling widely and saying something but Chan can’t quite pick it up, too busy drinking a water bottle nearly completely and downing the rest over his shirt, not caring that the fabric nearly turns see-through at that.

He doesn’t care about Han’s shocked face, because he knows no one would mind, probably much worse things than water being dripped on the floor of the club given its rather sketchy reputation. The newbie probably doesn’t even know about that.

They give him a few minutes to catch his breath, sitting down next to Ravi and catching up. They might be from different managements, but he always enjoys talking to him, something about the other rapper so calming in their fast-paced industry that also always translates into his music.

The both make sure to promise to keep a bit more contact, when their conversation is cut short by a staff member stepping onstage and announcing the start of the freestyle contest. The small bubble of fans having accumulated next to the closed-off area in hopes to get closer to the rappers, dissolves back into the crowd. Chan and Ravi get hooked up and their respective mics are pressed into their hands before being escorted to the stage.

Under loud cheering they are greeted, the mc making it a game of which rapper can gain more cheers before explaining the rules. In the first round Chan and Ravi will go up against each other, on one side being judged by creative use of words and flow by the mc, on the other winning a point by who gets more applause.

The winner will then battle against the special guest, making Chan slowly doubt that it will be Han, because why would he be kept such a spicy secret? He can’t even dwell on wondering about it, because they are asked to prepare, positioned on each side of the stage opposite of each other.

A coin throw decides Ravi will start, the other glinting challengingly at Chan. A basic beat echoes through the hall and for once the crowd is nearly completely quiet, waiting and curious for what lines the rappers will spit.

Chan kind of wishes he would be more intimidated by Ravi, given their noticeable age and experience difference. It isn’t that the other is bad, not at all, he is using intelligent remarks, flowing nicely against Chan and the crowd loves it. It’s just nowhere near Chan’s level.

He counters every round with more intricate words, hyping himself up and bringing Ravi down in the most excruciating way, English and Korean lacing together, and it has the crowd go crazy over him, even fans of the other cheering loudly for _CB97_.

After their final round they are standing right in front of each other, having moved to and from during rapping. Their feet are nearly touching, and Ravi wraps a sweaty arm around an equally sweaty Chan and fist bumps him, well aware there is no chance that he can win.

It poses to be true, because Chan wins both, the crowds’ affection and the judge’s approval. He lets himself be showered in screams and praises, another water bottle pushed his way and again downed over his front by Ravi before Chan reaches to drink up what is left.

His white band tee is drenched, clinging to his abs and it is fanservice in the best way, the crowd going even wilder over the view. Ravi is laughing at Chan’s slightly flustered face, enjoying it despite his loss. It’s not like he really cares about that anyway, knowing fully well that his music is more than enough to make the crowd happy later on.

He is taken to stand next to the mc, meaning to judge the next round between Chan and the mystery guest too, before the mc whispers something into his ear, telling him to announce the battle. Ravi looks shocked by whatever words are passed to him and suddenly he even seems somewhat glad that he lost, because with Chan out there now, this will be a lot more fun.

“Okay, okay!”, he begins, silencing the audience, tone excited as he smiles towards Chan, who isn’t really sure what to make of it. “Now we can’t wait any longer to welcome our mystery guest to the stage. A special guest who will definitely make this evening even more interesting! Known for his freestyle skills, dark style and wild lyrics. Let me hear you scream for  _ SpearB _ !”

In a crazy juxtaposition the crowd erupts in loud screams as Chan’s heart stops completely for a split second. He looks at Ravi disbelievingly, hoping for him to joke, but the rapper is nearly toppling over, laughing hard at Chan’s expression.

The next thing Chan knows, Changbin is stepping onstage, mic in hand and evil smile on his lips. He is wearing an oversized black tee and tightfitting jeans, a black hat placed on his head.

All the anxiety the prospect of this evening gave Changbin now seems more than worth it when he sees Chan’s shell-shocked face. Chan who is normally wrecking him in every possible way now opposite him on the stage and nearly looking frightened.

Changbin had deliberately picked out his outfit, jeans extra tight for Chan to see  _ everything _ , arms on display to show his muscles. He rehearsed harder than ever before for this, ready to not only win against Chan, no, to utterly destroy him.

_ And destroy him he does _ .

This time Chan has to go first and it’s all happening too fast. Changbin is looking so good and his eyes are glowing with adrenaline and _something_ else, how could Chan even form one coherent thought?

He manages to get something out, at least not making a complete fool of himself in front of so many people, but it is still nothing to be proud of. Changbin is loving this sudden power he has, not even holding back laughter at Chan’s desperate attempt to bring him down.

Spitting out his answering first line he lurches forward, already crowding into Chan’s personal space and thriving at the way the other is taking a step back. The crowd is chained to his every word and the way Changbin is presenting himself, aggressive and merciless is spurring them on to volumes unreached.

It makes the complete opposite picture of how Changbin acts with Chan behind the scenes, pliant and needy and it has the older angry, wild that SpearB even fucking dares to come at him like this, when he is usually choking on Chan’s dick some way or another.

That’s what has Chan fired up when he starts his next attack, now pushing Changbin backwards with his words and body, flicking him off somewhere during his verse and Changbin would lie if he would say he doesn’t feel affected by it, because sure as hell his dick is getting harder and harder by the second.

When Chan actually whips his hat off of his head and throws it to the side Changbin is fuming, pushing his arousal to the side and taking the mic to his mouth, next words actually hissed out when he takes steps towards Chan again.

The crowd is wild,  _ ooh _ -ing and  _ ahh _ -ing at each and every remark but it is so far in the back of the rapper’s minds, neither Chan nor Changbin caring one bit, only the other important.

Changbin says something vaguely relating to Chan’s dick size, knowing very well that he is lying, but he is up there to kill and if he has to play dirty then oh well, that’s exactly what he will do. To really underline his words, he actually pushes Chan away, making him stumble backwards a few steps.

Ravi and the staff are alerted at that, ready to step in, because for them the two are rivals who truly despise each other, and it would not go well having them break each other’s necks on stage. Chan’s reaction makes them step back, seeing the glint and remorse in his eyes when he pulls the mic up to his lips.

Despite the meaning of his next verse, everyone could easily admit it might be the best sounding thing he ever created, including humiliating laughs and crazy faces grimacing at Changbin. The thing is, that Chan has long gone beyond angry, beyond mad even, because he doesn’t care anymore if he unleashes their dirty secret to the public.

His words are pure filth, revealing every little secret of Changbin. How he bounces on Chan’s cock, chokes on his dick and gladly takes load after load if only it is from Chan and no one else. Changbin barely hears the remark about him being Chan’s slut as his hair is ruffled, because he is seeing white from wrath.

Everyone in the audience is probably taking Chan’s words as a joke, a means to humiliate the other, oh, how surprised they would be if they only knew it is the truth.

It takes a few seconds for Changbin to catch his breath, a pause where they stare at each other like there’s personalized evil in front of them. He decides to kill Chan with his own weapons.

Beginning the final attack, Changbin full on moans into the mic, making Chan twitch pathetically in his pants, because he was hard since the second round, this whole situation like straight from a fucked-up nightmare he very much enjoys. Changbin continues by moaning more and turning to the crowd with a smile, saying that is how Chan sounds with his tongue up Changbin’s ass.

If the other is going to humiliate him with their sex life, Changbin will do just the same. He continues to drag Chan down as a sex hungry pervert, so pathetic he even goes down on his most hated enemy. As a final blow he steps up right to Chan, moving close to his ear as if only muttering to him.

“Positive or negative, CB doesn’t care, whatever gets his dick wet.” Changbin all but growls after his last words, dropping the mic to the floor with a loud thud.

The screams of the crowd are deafening, no need for the mc to ask who won, because it was clear from the beginning. Chan might have been good, but Changbin was predatory, a wild animal barely giving its prey a chance to show their strength.

Ravi is next to his side now; a worried glance being sent Chan’s way when the mc announces SpearB as the winner. Too fast for anyone to even step in Chan is running off the stage, ripping every piece of tech from his body and throwing the mic into some poor staff-members hands.

He pushes past the hands reaching out for him when he storms out of the club, ignoring fans and security that try to keep him inside. Stumbling down the steps of the entrance and onto the sidewalk, gaining at least a bit of distance, he is quickly shaking as the cold air hits his sweat-drenched body.

Chan really shouldn’t risk catching another cold, but the air helps calm his raging mind and come down somewhat. He is still pumped with energy, adrenaline surging through his body and he debates punching the wall, or starting to run, just to get it out of his system.

All of those feelings that bubbled up in him at the thought of Changbin, at them meeting in the waiting room, they seemed to be forgotten on stage, just their hatred for each other spilling out and tipping over.

Now, unblinded by stage lights and screams, the bass beat of one of Ravi’s songs picking up dulled by the walls, these emotions come crashing down around him. It makes him dizzy, because Chan is used to being mad at Changbin, to hate him and especially with the way he attacked and plain out murdered Chan on stage he for the first time actually has a  _ reason  _ to hate him like that. But he doesn’t.

His heart is beating out of his chest and cheeks flush from something more than the coldness, because the way Changbin moved on stage, the way his lips birthed the most amazing lines, the way he looked at Chan like he was the only person in the room… It felt like something much more than it ever had before.

Something real and raw and special. Sure, Changbin’s words might have been hurtful and pure poison, but Chan can’t help and feel unfittingly  _ excited  _ at them. More than his usual excitement and arousal, he wanted to take Changbin, shove him into the wall and fuck him senseless, but also praise him and shower him in affection because despite evil intent, Changbin did  _ amazing _ .

“Want one?”

Chan is ripped from his thoughts by someone, the slight hope in his head of it being Changbin quickly demolished when he realizes it’s a female voice. His ears are still somewhat ringing, every noise dimmed down.

When he looks over, Chan sees the staff-member who first hooked him up to go on stage is offering him an open pack of cigarettes, one already dangling from her lips. He shakes his head, not daring to speak up because he is trembling like a leaf and his throat is sore from rapping his lungs out.

Like she expected it, the woman hands him a bottle of water, weirdly warm from the inside of the club and Chan gladly accepts it, quickly gulping down a few sips. The smell of tobacco fills the air as she huffs out a first cloud of smoke, eyeing Chan curiously.

“You should get back inside before you get sick.”, She says, voice hoarse like that of someone who doesn’t smoke just once an evening. “Or I can get your stuff from in there if you want to leave.”

She is considerate, really, but Chan can’t help and feel like she is making fun of him. Like she thinks he will go down that easily and leave like a butthurt looser.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be back inside in just a minute.” Chan sounds like someone who just screamed for hours on end, which he kind of did, to be completely fair. He chuckles at his own voice and smiles at the woman, who is pulling another waft of smoke into her lungs.

“You know we don’t really have a room for  _ that _ …” She says, gazing away.

So the staff here knows what is going on between them, probably even bet on it, given how they tried to hide Changbin being the mystery rapper. Chan can’t help but laugh out loud at the words, pushing damp strands of hair from his forehead.

“I know, but there’s no need for that tonight anyway.”, He doesn’t go into it more, no need for him to spill anything in front of a stranger. “Thank you for the water.” He bows lightly before turning to go inside, a last cloud of smoke engulfing Chan.

The closer he comes to the doors, the louder the music gets, and the more cheers Chan can hear. The security allows him in easily, one guy even following him to the bar as if scared he might get lost. Putting the water bottle on the counter, Chan slips next to the owner behind the bar, looking around to scan the room.

Ravi is in his element, completely encapturing the crowd and having them dance to the beat, not even like a concert but like a party for his sake. It’s truly magical to see it happen, everyone living for the music and forgetting about their surroundings.

“We abandoned the vip area, everything is really tame today.” The owner yells into Chan’s ear, trying to overtone the music.

Tame isn’t the word Chan would use, people grinding on each other and completely engulfing themselves in the filthy beat, but Chan knows what he means. There are no crazy people demanding to see the rappers or desperately wanting a photo, the small venue already eliminating a younger audience due to it being a club and meaning whoever is there right now is simply enjoying the music.

Of course the people who are lucky enough to be directly in front of the stage, Ravi bending down and touching hands rather often, are beyond ecstatic, but it’s a peaceful mess that won’t have the rappers be overrun with mislead excitement.

That’s why even Han is amongst the crowd, on the edge and close to the bar, but right next to the dancing mass. He is dancing with a fortunate fan, swaying smoothly left to right and singing every lyric he knows.

His body is so small and skinny, Chan thinks, but he is moving languidly, perfectly fitting to Ravi’s songs. The girl isn’t crowding him, simply answering Han’s movements with her body and they really look fitting together.

Chan loves small clubs because of that, connecting with the listeners so much easier, because they are right there, next to them and don’t have to be protected with lots of security from hundreds of fans. There probably aren’t even a hundred people there from what Chan can see.

No matter how big he will grow someday, he will always remember these nights, these people and this feeling.

Chan keeps his eyes on Han, so surprised by him dancing like that, so he soon notices something else about him,  _ someone _ else to be precise. Hands are holding him by his hips, the small rapper grinding his body against someone behind him and simultaneously entertaining the girl in front of him.

When Chan lets his eyes wander further, trying to see who it is Han is grinding so enthusiastically against, he gets a surprise he might not be ready for. Another shock just like earlier on stage.

Changbin’s eyes are closed, brows furrowed in ecstasy and he nearly looks like he always does under Chan’s touch, gone and lost in the feeling completely. Chan can’t help but feel a stab to his heart, because Changbin is pushing his hips into Han, holding him tight and it mirrors something that Chan usually does to  _ him. _

How does that newbie even dare and rut himself back against  _ his _ Changbin like that?

Chan is completely furious, visible on his whole body when he storms out from behind the bar and towards where they are. People part way for him, seemingly taken aback by the look on Chan’s face.

Han doesn’t seem to notice it, obliviously turning towards the other and raising his hand as if ready to high five Chan. His smile doesn’t falter when the gesture isn’t returned, simply concentrating back on his topic at hand, especially with a new deliciously slow bass starting up from the stage. Chan doesn’t even pay him any attention.

“What the fuck.” Chan yells over the music, but Changbin either can’t hear him, or just chooses to not care. By the devilish glint in his eyes Chan suspects the latter.

Suddenly he is pushed forward by a few people stumbling towards the bar and Han sees it as the opportunity to pull Chan in, forcing him to move to the beat with the waves of the crowd.

All he wants is to pull Changbin to the side and either put out his anger on him or finally talk about whatever it is that the two have going on. With the way he is captured between countless bodies however, there seems no chance for him to escape.

It also doesn’t help that his body is betraying him, jumping and moving to the song, because it’s Ravi and it’s so good, how could he not?

So Chan completely forgets about his anger and lets himself be pulled into it, brain leaving his body to make space for music and euphoria only. His muscles are fatigued from the long evening, but all of that stored up anger seems like a push-up drug that fuels him even more than the leftover adrenaline in his blood.

Somewhere in the lightheadedness, he can feel the mass move around him, a body pressing into his back and another slotting in front of him. Completely fixed on the stage, where Ravi is performing like there’s no tomorrow, Chan only awakens from the trance when he feels arms wrap around his neck and a hot body press itself against him.

Ready to throw hands with whoever the intrusive dancer would be, Chan trains his eyes away from the stage, realizing who it actually is when his eyes finally focus.

Changbin looks like an angel and a demon all the same, glistening with sweat and his eyes are pure blown out darkness, mouth curling into a smile when Chan finally looks at him. To shock him even more, he grinds his hips forward against Chan, showing him just _how_ good he feels. Changbin is glad the frantic lights hide the blush creeping up his face.

As if ripped from a dream Chan is surprised by the sudden movement, feeling Changbin straining against his pants, probably harder than ever. It has him finally answer the touch, arms wrapping around Changbin’s middle as if it is the most natural thing in the world.

Where the music and Ravi had taken up his brain before, Chan’s thoughts are now filled with Changbin only, pulling him even closer and lacing his fingers through the belt loops of his pants for steadiness. They move together like clockwork, so used to the other’s curves and touches, but the way each and every motion jolts electricity through their skin is something new, something different and both scary yet beautiful all the same.

Changbin has long since accepted his crush, the weeks before this evening curious why Chan wasn’t at any of the concerts, wondering if maybe his diagnosis wasn’t as fortunate. He’s glad that he seems to have been wrong, because seeing Chan on that stage earlier awakened so much more in Changbin than just lust. After all of the months fucking around with Chan, always angry after they came together and left each other, it feels like he is finally ready for more. And by the way Chan is clinging to him he can’t help but hope that it might be the same the other way around.

As much as Changbin enjoys this, Ravi’s music so smooth and pleasant and perfect to dance to, he wants to do more, to kiss Chan and he can’t very well do that in the middle of so many people. So Changbin pulls away, a quick glance of disappointment directed his way, before he grabs for Chan’s hand and leads them through the crowd.

He doesn’t let go of Chan’s hand until the door to the staff room is closed behind them, empty and messy with their bags and belongings. Before he can even turn around, he is pushed back against the door, Chan stepping up to him and pushing one thigh between Changbin’s legs.

They kiss like never before, so much more than just lips and tongue and need. It’s desperate and emotional, messy in the best way and Chan nearly sobs into it, feeling so good to finally kiss Changbin like  _ this _ , unbothered by anger or annoyance, because maybe he really didn’t hate him that much in the first place.

Changbin doesn’t wait to reach around and press his fingers into Chan’s back, exploring the way the muscles feel under the skin and the heat radiating off of him. Before, they only touched what was necessary, maybe gripping at each other when lust really overcame them, but this time it feels like there is no other way than to touch. Like Changbin would all but die if he wouldn’t be able to feel Chan under his fingertips.

He can quickly feel Chan grind against him while the finger’s on Changbin’s waist tighten ever so slightly. Normally they would be naked by now, Chan probably balls deep in the other already, ruining him in every single way. Here, with this being the only room for the whole staff that isn’t really possible, not that that usually stops them. It’s something else holding them back, some urge that keeps them from going too quickly and forcing them to take their time.

“Ch-Chan…”, breaking away feels like the hardest task for Changbin, but he needs to catch air and to ask something. A thing that feels like it will change their relationship forever. “Do y-you… Do you wanna take this somewhere else?”

The implication of the question is clear, and it has Changbin fearing that he is going too far, doing something that Chan really wouldn’t want. That in a second, he will go back to be the cold hateful Chan he fucked with until now. Deep in his heart Changbin knows that he is wrong, but he can’t bring himself to get his hopes up.

“ _ Please _ .”, Chan smiles down at him, such a genuine smile it nearly hurts Changbin. “Let’s get out of this hellhole.”

Chan doesn’t really mean the club, despite the backroom really being a bit grimy. He means it more general, to get them out of their toxic relationship and start something new.

They quickly scramble to collect their things, not even waving goodbye to anyone on their way out, because to be honest, no one else matters except for them. Outside, they shudder at the sudden cold air and stop, not knowing where they should even go.

“How far is your place?” Chan’s voice is a bit too eager, but that’s just how he feels, and he has no power left to act any other way.

“Like twenty minutes… Oh, let’s grab that.”, Changbin is waving over a taxi that quickly pulls over to them. Glancing at his phone Chan is glad to see it isn’t past midnight yet, not eager to pay the higher fee nighttime brings. “Yours?” They are both climbing into the backseat now.

“Way farther, let’s go to yours.” Chan lives over an hour away from the club, not very eager to spend that long trapped in the back of a taxi when his dick is painfully straining against his pants.

Changbin gives the driver the address and buckles up, settling back and turning to Chan. His leg is shaking again, just like that time in the waiting room. Chan can’t help but smile at it.

“I’m negative by the way.” He blurts out at the memory of it, Changbin never knew after all.

“I’m glad… We were really fucking dumb…” It feels weird to talk normally to Chan and not just give lame insults in between sex. Weird but at the same time amazing, like schoolboys talking to their crush for the first time.

“Yeah, that really was a lesson for a lifetime. I’ll always be safe from now on.”, Chan chuckles, relaxing into the seat and trying to calm down a bit in the warmth of the car. Changbin can’t help but feel a pain in his heart. Technically they are safe with each other now, both clean and not dangerous, so why would Chan say that? Does he want to sleep with others? Realizing how his words could be conceived, Chan is quick to continue. “Not that I’m planning to… Other than with you.”

They have to be careful with their words, not wanting the driver to pick up anything that could be understood in  _ that _ way. Changbin seems a lot happier after the words leave Chan’s mouth.

“Me too.”, On its own accord Changbin’s hand snakes closer to Chan’s in the middle of the bench. “Maybe we can like… get to know each other?” It really feels weird talking normally to Chan, after months of mean interactions only.

“I hope so.”, Chan takes Changbin’s hand and really intertwines their fingers. “This feels a bit strange, doesn’t it?” His smile falters a bit.

“ _ So  _ strange!”, Changbin agrees, making Chan feel a bit safer. At least he’s not alone with those thoughts and feelings. “I think it will change, right?” His leg starts shaking again.

“I think so, I mean this already is a big improvement from our usual conversations.” They both laugh, Chan being so right, because their _ conversations  _ really only consisted of insulting each other until now.

“Why do we even hate each other? I really can’t remember to be completely honest.” Changbin can only imagine the reason to be rivalry, but he doesn’t just hate every other rapper on the planet, so there must be  _ something  _ else.

“I don’t even know, man.”, Chans says cringing at himself because why did he say  _ that _ now? “You are actually kinda talented if I'm being real.” Admitting it feels wrong.

“You’re also not half bad…”, Changbin agrees quirking an eyebrow. “Except for your huge ego, of course.” Only half of it is a joke and Chan doesn’t even laugh, except for a challenging smile appearing on his face.

“You seem to like that  _ ego _ , when I’m-“

“We have arrived.” The voice of the driver interrupts them, both quick to pull their hands apart and pay the man, albeit a bit flustered. Changbin takes it upon himself to pay all of it, making Chan huff in annoyance, because they could at least  _ share _ .

Stepping outside into the cold air seems to do nothing to their burning bodies, now excitement boiling up in them again, because they really are going back to Changbin’s place now and that is a  _ huge _ step.

They walk silently, Chan following Changbin into the complex and up the stairs, ignoring the elevator due to a defective sign and then they are in front of 3C and Changbin is shaking so hard he can barely type in the code and unlock the door.

Finally opening it, Changbin really wishes he would clean up more often, old takeaway boxes littering the coffee table and clothes thrown everywhere without regard. Chan doesn’t seem to mind it at all, only giving the small apartment a short look before putting his hands back on Changbin and pulling him close.

“There’s lots of things changing between us, but some things don’t have to change, you know?” Changbin is referring to their way of being together, fucking without regard and as a means to get off. As much as he wants to touch Chan, he would be fine with keeping that aspect as it is.

“Maybe change is good.”, With the words Chan pulls Changbin’s hands around himself, showing that he is more than fine with being touched. “Some things stay the same too though.”

At that he pushes Changbin against the wall harshly, knocking the air out of him and showing that just because they don’t  _ hate  _ each other anymore, Chan would still not go any easier on him. Changbin smiles when he catches his breath again, because he definitely does not want to miss  _ this  _ Chan from his life.

“There he is.”, Changbin says as Chan pushes one hand up into his hair, pulling lightly. “Was kind of disappointed that you couldn’t congratulate me on my win- _ ah _ …” He can’t finish his sentence because Chan suddenly has another hand on his throat, pushing down and slowly making it harder and harder for Changbin to think as Chan lightly stops the blood to flow to his brain.

“You were so hot up there.”, Chan’s voice is raspy with desire when he bends down, nearly kissing Changbin but not quite. “And an asshole too… To top it all off you basically fucked Han to Ravi’s music…”

Changbin hears it all and opens his mouth in a silent moan, too far gone already to think of an intelligent response, well any response at all actually. Chan loves the way Changbin’s eyes are rolling back into his head and he is giving himself completely to the other rapper, but they are only just beginning, so he drops his hand, Changbin quickly feeling less lightheaded.

“His music’s good.” Changbin slurs when Chan stops to touch him completely and pulls back, seemingly waiting for an answer.

“So you fuck just about anyone if the music is good?” Chan’s hand is back in his hair, pulling and pushing Changbin completely against the wall.

“N-no, just you… Always you, Chan!” He cries out when Chan tucks harshly. Changbin’s words completely boost Chan’s ego and he actually needs to bite his tongue to stop embarrassing moans from coming out.

“As far as I’m concerned, I’m the one fucking  _ you _ , slut.”, Chan uses the grip on Changbin’s hair to pull him forward, off of the wall. He uses his other hand to wrap his fingers around the other’s wrists and hold his arms behind his back. “Bedroom.”

Changbin leads Chan past the couch to the left of two doors, the other leading to the bathroom. Again, he wishes he would’ve cleaned up when Chan releases his hair to open the door and switch on the light, revealing the room with more clothes on the floor than in his closet.

Chan spares them no thought when he walks in, pushing Changbin forward like someone would lead a hostage. He presses him into the bed before releasing him completely and standing back.

“You really seemed to enjoy your time with Han…” There is definitely an angry edge to Chan’s voice.

“Still mad?”, despite his breathiness Changbin can’t hide his amusement. “You’re so cute when you’re jealous, Channie-baby.” If there is one thing Chan hates it is being called cute and Changbin is sure to take it over the top with the added nickname.

It definitely has the desired effect, because even more so than before a dangerous glint lights up Chan’s eyes. It’s scary enough when he acts on it, inflicting his anger on Changbin one way or another, but when he  _ doesn’t _ , that’s even scarier. Changbin knows all too well he’s in a lot of trouble.

“If there’s a reason to be jealous.”, he doesn’t deny Changbin, but his voice is laced with silky venom. “I know very well that you could never fuck Han, or anyone for that matter. I ruined you for that, didn’t I? You’re mine to use after all, and for that you don’t need your useless dick, do you?”

Changbin’s hips fuck up into the air at that, his face turning a deep shade of red, because maybe Chan is right. Since they began sleeping together, he doesn’t even get aroused at the thought of fucking someone anymore.

“Answer me, slut.” Chan is close to him all of a sudden, a firm grip on Changbin’s chin and pulling his gaze upwards to meet Chan’s. Even under his intent eyes Changbin could never give in that easy to such humiliating words.

“I c-could if I wanted…” Of course his voice would betray him now, sounding thin and needy.

“Show me then.”, Chan is bending down and boops Changbin’s nose like you would with a child that doesn’t want to accept defeat. “Show me how you would fuck cute Hanie’s ass.”

Chan is so glad for all the possibilities fucking in an actual bedroom gives him, reaching for a pillow and throwing it in Changbin’s lap. It takes a second until the other realizes what Chan is asking of him, not to even show him on Chan, of course not. He is supposed to fuck against the pillow like a bitch in heat.

“Of course you can always say no and prove my point.” Chan says casually, retreating to the middle of the room and kicking off his shoes and jacket, throwing them somewhere because he doubts Changbin would care in his mess of a room.

Disapprovingly Changbin groans, taking after Chan and pulling his jacket and boots off, quickly followed by his shirt, because if he has to rut himself on a pillow, he needs to be naked anyway. He stands up to unbuckle his belt, but Chan’s hands are on him sooner, opening it and pulling it out of the loops. The darkness in his eyes makes Changbin shudder.

“Since you think you’re so good at it, I’m sure you can manage with a small disadvantage, given you’ve been such a bad boy, I think that’s only fair.”, something in Chan’s voice makes Changbin hurt at the thought of having been bad, so he is quick to follow Chan’s next demand. “Show me your wrists.”

Changbin feels his stomach drop when Chan presses his wrists together and begins to wrap his belt,  _ Changbin’s  _ belt, around them, fastening it well but not too tight, so that blood can still circulate through his fingers.

“Is this okay?” Chan’s hand is now on Changbin’s cheek, stroking lightly and Changbin melts into it, still so unused that they touch like this now. Also, Chan never asked like  _ this  _ before. Of course, he got Changbin’s consent but then that was it. Now he is asking if Changbin wants him to continue or not, sounding like he would be glad to try something else if Changbin wouldn’t be up for it, instead of just leaving.

“Y-yes… If you kiss me…” He blushes, because the need to feel Chan’s lips against his is so big and now Changbin is really asking for it out loud. When did he become so desperate?

Chan feels his heart erupt with feelings, not able to hold back a smile, because Changbin is standing there in front of him, half naked with his hands tied up and he is about to present himself fucking a pillow to Chan and of all things he is asking  _ for a kiss _ .

_ Why did it take them so long to come to this? _

When Chan bends down the short distance between them, Changbin’s brain short-circuits, suddenly all his senses heightened. He can see every small bump on Chan’s face, hear the other’s quickening breathes and feel small huffs of air hit his face and then finally Chan’s lips are on his.

It’s chaste, just skin pressing against skin, but it feels like the most intimate they have ever been. Chan moans into it, allowing himself to be soft because finally he doesn’t have to keep the act of a strong dude who fucks his stupid enemy brainless up, he can finally begin to show some weakness.

Changbin is whimpering against it too, he feels so weak with Chan, like everything is maximized by a hundred and it’s not any different this time, having him keening and his erection throbbing in his pants.

Chan can feel him tremble and get shaky on his legs, so he is quick to fumble with the button of Changbin’s jeans and open them, pulling the stiff fabric down with his boxers. They part so Changbin can push the fabric off of his feet completely, feeling awfully naked when Chan is standing there fully clothed.

His shirt is still damp from water and sweat and Changbin just wants it gone, to see Chan’s body because it’s a work of art and now he can finally admire it without fearing for some kind of remark. Changbin can’t help but tangle his fingers into the white fabric of Chan’s shirt, not really able to do much more with his hands bound together.

Chan is so smitten by the way Changbin is worrying his lip between his teeth and his cheeks are so pink, he could never not give him what he wants, so he quickly pulls up his shirt, making a show of revealing his stomach.

Changbin is tracing the lines of Chan’s artful abs with a finger, sighing into the feeling because Chan is strong and Changbin can’t say he doesn’t appreciate it. On top of that Chan seems to have bulked up even more since the last time they fucked all those weeks ago.

Chan is working on his pants now, watching every reaction of Changbin because he is so open in his expressions, so  _ cute _ , Chan feels a new kind of giddy.

When he has the button and zip open, Chan makes sure Changbin is looking in the direction of his crotch, before pulling them down. His erection slips out and upwards and Changbin’s eyes are following every little move, every small bob, mouth opening unconsciously and his tongue poking out slightly.

Chan is quick to bend down and wrap his lips around the muscle, sucking lightly and making Changbin stumble in surprise. His bound hands are on the perfect height to reach out for Chan’s dick, so he lets his fingers dance across the hot skin to his best abilities, making Chan whine highly in his throat because he has waited the whole evening for some sweet relieve. 

“Stop. You still have something to prove to me.” Chan growls, taking up all of his power to move away, trembling at the loss of attention to his length.

Changbin whimpers as he reluctantly climbs onto the bed, toppling over because he can’t really use his hands to hold himself up. Chan takes pity on him and pushes the pillow into an easy position for Changbin to straddle, holding himself up on his elbows but his wrists staying fastened together.

He is in the perfect position to get fucked like this too, giving Chan delicious ideas of how he could ruin Changbin later on. They never had a bed before, so many possibilities left to explore, and it has both of their minds filled with endless scenarios.

“Chan… what should I do?” Changbin feels completely bare and the way Chan’s eyes keep raking over his naked form is burning up his body, he truly doesn’t know how to go about this.

“Fuck Han.”, Chan chuckles at Changbin’s gasp, knowing full well what his words do to the other, acting like the pillow really is the other rapper. “You told me your dick isn’t useless, show me then.”

To make it even harder on Changbin, Chan begins to roam his own body with his hands, one slowly snaking downwards and wrapping around his balls, massaging the soft skin. Changbin feels himself already leak pathetically against the pillow, seeing Chan like this too much for his mind and body.

With a moan he spreads his legs farther to completely press his pelvic area against the soft fabric, his head dropping to his forearms and resting against the skin. Slowly, trying to get a first quick taste of it, Changbin grinds his hips down, dick submerged into the softness and foreskin dragging back.

It’s pathetic how loud he moans at even the lightest of touches, quickly repeating the motion to chase after the feeling again. Unused to the movement, his hips hurt quickly, thrusts growing sporadic and more pitiable with each small fuck into the pillow. Maybe he really can’t fuck, because as good as the friction on his hard cock feels, it is so much effort, his muscles burning already, that Changbin just wants it done and over with.

Chan stops all movements when Changbin begins rutting against the pillow like a premature teen, his fluttering movements so adorable and he’s trying so hard, pulling through the feeling of his legs shaking after just a few minutes. Chan is completely melting for it.

“Ch-Channie,  _ please _ , need you.” It’s a sob, voice wrecked and raspy and even Chan can’t hold back a moan when Changbin is being so good, doing everything Chan tells him to do.

“Such a cute slut. So pretty, fucking Han for me.”, Changbin moans at the thought, the pillow already ruining him so much how could he realistically ever last even one second in someone like Han? “How about you tell me where the lube is, but don’t you dare stop, must give your all for us after all.”

Chan keeps talking as if Han is there with them and it fucks with Changbin’s head, making him fear that stopping his thrusts will actually sadden Han, will have another person disappointed in him and he really cannot bear the thought of that. So he tries to pick his head up and fucks into the pillow,  _ Han _ , even harder, his dick burning with the dry rub against the fabric.

“D-drawer… left side…” He whines, trying to look at Chan making his way over, but his lids feel so heavy, he just can’t manage the task.

“Good boy!” Chan praises as he opens the drawer, rummaging through the mess of tissue packets and condoms to find a small bottle already considerably emptied. Next to it he finds a cute small anal plug, black silicone with a dark blue diamond at the bottom. Oh, Chan will definitely remember that.

Turning to Changbin, reduced to a moaning mess on the bed, he quickly climbs behind him, positioning himself between his opened legs. Changbin is so concentrated on keeping up his thrusts, that he doesn’t even notices Chan’s presence until a slick finger presses against his exposed hole.

In shock he rips his eyes open, turning to try and look at Chan as every movement falters to a stop. Chan is smirking at him, unmoving from where his finger just rests against Changbin’s rim, fluttering under his touch in expectancy.

“Why are you stopping? Han can’t very well get off on his own now, can he?” Chan feasts in the way Changbin sobs at his words, head falling back down but his hips pick up a slow pace again. From his position Chan can see the stains of arousal on the pillow and the way Changbin’s balls are swollen red from need to release.

With the thrusts Changbin unwillingly moves backwards a bit, slipping Chan’s finger into him with a particularly sharp plow of his hips and it has him sob again, tears clouding his sight now, because Chan still doesn’t move, letting Changbin do all the work of fucking himself back on the digit.

“This is all the prep you’ll get. I won’t do it for you.” Chan warns, making sure Changbin is aware that it is really him who has to do all the work.

It’s a lot, to say the least. His cock burning with every sliding motion on the pillow, fire enflaming the sensitive skin and the knot in his stomach is pulled tight, yet it just isn’t enough to release. Even Chan’s finger can’t help much, barely breaching Changbin and not even moving, because after all it is  _ him  _ who has to do the work.

“M-more,  _ please _ Chan. Can’t do it alone…” Changbin whines and stops all movements, head falling hiding in the mattress out of embarrassment.

Chan hoped for this, but he actually thought Changbin would pull through, despite the heavy stimulation to him. He is kind of glad that the other is giving in, hurting so much too and just hearing Changbin admit defeat another electric thrill to Chan’s arousal.

“Oh, poor boy, can’t even fuck Han? Can’t do the thing every man should easily be able to do?”, careful to not move his finger where it is barely pushed into Changbin’s opening, Chan bends forward to pet over Changbin’s hair. “Tell me, baby, what does that make you?”

Chan might enjoy this a bit too much, spurting beads of precum at the way Changbin sobs into the mattress, body shaking with need, desperation and embarrassment. It could probably be enough to make Chan come untouched, wouldn’t it be for the appeal of being able to fuck Changbin completely senseless in the very near future.

“P-pathetic.”, Changbin’s head gets yanked backwards by Chan, forcing him upwards for more. “Y-your pathetic slut. Yours to ruin, yours to fuck, your hole, yours yours  _ yours _ !”

Never in his life would Chan expect Changbin to say these things, to degrade himself more than Chan ever dared to. Gripping Changbin’s hair even tighter, Chan moves so his mouth is close to the other’s ear, making each word Changbin’s everything.

“That’s right.  _ Mine _ . You're mine to take and do what I want with. Don’t you ever forget that, slut!” With the last words Chan finally pushes his finger inside, making Changbin spasm underneath him and moan filthily into the room.

Chan is ruthless in his pace, Changbin allowing the intrusion quickly and making it possible for Chan to fuck into him without mercy. Despite relishing in every drag of Chan’s finger, every bump and knuckle and quirk, Changbin quickly whines for more, begging Chan by moaning pleads and his name loudly.

Another time, Chan would probably play around more, tease Changbin until he loses himself completely, but it has been hours since the first wave of lust hit him, and Chan is long beyond impatient to get inside of Changbin. Also, he has much more fun plans to ruin Changbin with, than to just fingerfuck him dumb. For those he needs the other to come first though, and Chan will make sure that happens on his fingers only.

They both gasp when Chan probes a second finger against Changbin’s rim, the puffy hole basically sucking the digit right in with the other. Rather than thrust the same fast rhythm as earlier, Chan slowly buries them to the halt before wiggling and bending his knuckles and stretching the fingers apart, Changbin’s muscles giving way easily when Chan accidentally graces over Changbin’s prostate.

“Be good and fuck Hanie again, could you Changbin?” Chan’s voice is so sweet in comparison to the naughty words leaving his lips and it has Changbin arch back harshly, head bending back even further than from Chan’s hand alone.

It feels so wrong to hear his name in this context, to be directly addressed in this sick play of them. Changbin is glad when Chan drops his head and he can bury it in the space of the mattress between his arms again.

“N-not Changbin… don’t like that.” He knows Chan won’t leave him for a request like this, but something breaks in Changbin when he feels Chan’s presence bend back, ready to feel empty at his fingers leaving him too.

“Of course, baby, whatever feels good.”, Chan assures and can feel Changbin’s entire body relax. “What should I call you?”

“S-slut is good… everything, just not my name please.” Despite being glad that Chan accepted his request Changbin still hides away in the softness of the bed. Chan feels bad for the other, quickly bending over him again and pressing his chest against Changbin’s back. His fingers, that Chan stopped moving after Changbin asking him to not use his name, start up their meticulous torture again.

“Then slut it is. Slut and whore and bitch, all the things you are for me, right?” Chan chuckles when he feels Changbin’s whole body shudder at each degrading nickname, insides clamping tight around Chan’s fingers. He does not expect Changbin’s next words however.

“ _ Fuck yes _ , your little whore, Channie. Just a stupid fucktoy to use, a little cumslut to pump full- _ ahh _ !” His own words make Changbin moan, the thought of Chan actually coming inside of him something he never realized he wanted so desperately before the words came out on their own accord.

Chan quickly chimes in to the sound, groaning at the thought, because he never came inside of Changbin, never really thought of the possibility because it felt wrong to do that with someone you hate. Despite that, given they are safe, there is not much holding them back now, is there? It would be so easy to really make Changbin’s words true, the thought alone has Chan throb wetly against his stomach. Matching his thoughts, he quickly works his fingers harder into Changbin, whines growing louder with each drag of the digits.

“You want that? Want me to breed you like the cumdump you are?” Chan’s voice is breathy and displaying every ounce of his need, but he doesn’t care because Changbin is shaking violently against him, insides clenching and by the loud moans of his name, Chan knows Changbin just came on the pillow below him.

Chan keeps his fingers inside and his body pressed against Changbin until he can feel his breath steady. Then, he slowly and carefully pulls out and sits back, catching his breath. Chan can’t help but look at Changbin’s red puckered hole quivering around nothing, frantically searching for his fingers. Before he never had the chance to properly ruin Changbin, let alone admire his work, so this feels like pure paradise to Chan.

With shaking legs, Changbin can’t manage to hold himself up any longer, rolling himself to his side and pushing the soiled pillow from the bed, disgusted at the sticky feeling of himself on there. Looking at Chan proves to be a mistake, because he looks more than beautiful, glistening and shining in sex-glow that Changbin feels inferior in his presence alone.

Chan seems to think differently, because it takes mere seconds for him to close the gap between them and kiss his way up Changbin’s thigh to his lower stomach. It has the other shudder when Chan’s breath grazes over his softening cock, even the slightest breath of air too much on his raw skin. His still bound arms find their way up and above Changbin’s head, perfect to hide his face in his own upper arm.

Despite the warning signs of Changbin trembling and whining, Chan latches onto the tip of his dick, suckling the remnants of cum away and tasting Changbin for the first time. It might be the first, but will definitely not be the last, Chan decides as he moves to Changbin’s stomach and licks the smeared liquid off of soft skin.

“Chan _ nie _ …”, Changbin whines, tears burning in his eyes because it  _ hurts _ to get this much attention after just coming. Not only that, Chan is lapping his come up like it’s the most delicious thing in the world and he looks so content with it, kissing Changbin’s abs when he is done cleaning up.

“What is it, slut?” He asks in the sweetest voice, all caramel and warmth and it has Changbin moan and thrust his hips up, dick already hardening painfully again.

“Get inside of me already…”, Changbin realizes he sounds demanding, but he feels so empty and uncomfortable and he knows Chan must be close to exploding by this point. He decides to voice his thoughts. “You must be so fucking hard.”

“I am, but I have stamina, it will be fine.”, Chan doesn’t miss the small huff coming from the other. “Despite that, where would be the fun in rushing?”

Perfectly timed with his last word, Chan arrives at Changbin’s nipple, new territory for him, and he is quick to suck the soft nib into his mouth, grazing his teeth against it ever so slightly.

“Fuck, Chan!” Changbin screams out in pleasure and pain, not prepared for such sudden attention. The feeling is so sickly sweet, yet sharp and sly, it burns Changbin up even more, adding to the beautiful pain in his groin.

He quickly goes back to full hardness, tip angry and red and hurting in the best possible way. Every lick of Chan, every small bite or sucking motion makes Changbin see stars. It doesn’t help when Chan tweezes his other nipple between two fingers and pulls and pinches in the most seductive way, giving Changbin no chance to catch his breath.

Pulling back, Chan admires his work, both nipples red and puffy and the left one glistening with his saliva. It’s not the only thing discoloured, Changbin’s whole chest flushed splotchy pink from so much attention. He is shaking like a leaf, cheeks long streaked with tears because as much as it feels breathtakingly good, it hurts too.

Chan only wants for Changbin to look at him, to direct those beautiful bloodshot and lustblown eyes at him, but he is so far gone, staring into space and drowning in galaxies undiscovered. It really flatters Chan, that he is able to make Changbin feel this good, but he misses the desperate noises, the begging and whining, so to get him back, Chan flicks harshly against Changbin’s right nipple, a pained yelp echoing through the room.

“Fucking  _ fuck _ !” Changbin is loud, probably loud enough for every neighbour to hear. He doesn’t even remember that he  _ has _ neighbours, in this stunning mess he finds himself lost in.

“Precisely what we’re doing, slut.”, Chan can’t hold back a chuckle, before pressing his lips back to Changbin’s hot skin. “Can I mark you up?”

Changbin doesn’t understand at first, brain cloudy and not processing words fast, but when he finally gets what Chan means, he is quick to nod his head, arching up against Chan’s lips.

“Please,  _ please _ . Wanna be yours, all yours Channie!” It feels like all of the feelings and wishes that accumulated inside of Changbin over the months they hooked up finally come crashing down, making him release every plead and deep desire to Chan.

“ _ Oh _ , baby, you are mine. My perfect little whore, so good for me.  _ Perfect _ .” Chan is smiling against Changbin’s skin, so enamoured by the adorable and desperate wishes of the other.

Changbin never knew he had a thing for being praised, but he quickly realizes he very much does, Chan’s words going straight to his erection and making him choke on his spit at the intense feeling. His nerves are electricized from having orgasmed once, everything just feeling  _ more _ in the cruellest of ways.

It shows when Chan sucks at his collar bone, lapping over salty skin and it feels like he is eating away at the skin, sucking out every breath of life from Changbin in a bruising touch of lips.

Chan doesn’t just stop with one hickey, he quickly scatters Changbin’s other side too, his shoulders and upper chest, making a beautiful blue, purple and red artwork of pure desire. He is more careful when going down on Changbin’s neck, pulse thrumming under the skin and Chan is scared he is sending Changbin’s body into overdrive by the way his heart is racing, breath quick and body quivering with each and every touch.

“ _ Chan please. _ ”, Changbin’s voice is ruined, nearly completely gone and not more than a whisper. “Need you. Feels like I’ll die without you. Been your good slut, please help.”

Chan moans against Changbin’s skin, the words more than enough to spur him on and follow the request. Changbin really has been a good boy, doing everything Chan asked him to do and making him feel  _ so  _ good. Any other night he would tease just a bit longer, wait until Changbin is close to break, but this is their first real night together. Chan really can’t deny Changbin, or himself, anymore pleasure.

“ _ Shh _ , baby. I’m here for you. Gonna make you feel so good, you’ve been so perfect for me. Always a perfect whore.” Chan is right in front of Changbin now, breath ghosting over his face when Changbin sobs at the words, so delighted that he will finally feel Chan inside of him again, after what feels like eternities.

It’s embarrassing how ruined Changbin looks, blushed chest and tip and face, tears streaming down his cheeks, lips bitten bloody and extremities shaking with desire. His moans are beyond broken, mere sobs retching through him and Chan hasn’t even been inside of him yet. All from light touches and sweet degradation. Chan truly feels like he’s in love.

It's as if Changbin actually forgot his arms are still tied together above his head, leather digging harshly into the skin from trying to rip his writs apart, of course not succeeding. The feeling of Chan opening the buckle and slipping it off from Changbin’s arms already feels orgasmic, his whole body in a state of such abandoned lust even the feeling of blood flowing through his veins again makes Changbin moan loudly.

When he can concentrate on something else than the slight tickling sensation in his fingers, Changbin notices wet sounds coming from Chan, accompanied by heavy breaths. Focusing his eyes through a curtain of tears is a task to say the least, but Changbin is glad he manages to do it.

Chan is lubing up his dick, crimson tip and throbbing with every movement of his fingers. His eyes are trained on Changbin, mouth hanging open and irises nearly completely black, pupils dilated like he is high on drugs. To be fair, Changbin feels like he is high too.

“Hips up for me, slut.” Chan orders, grabbing another pillow from the top of the bed and motioning to slip it under Changbin’s hips.

Changbin just moans at the words, the thought of how deep Chan could reach with his ass propped up a welcome thought to take over his brain. He completely forgets how to even _move_ his hips up, how to do anything, really, and it makes Chan bite his lips, because this is  _ his  _ work.

“I wanted to fuck you stupid with my dick, but it seems like you’re already beyond that, aren’t you little slut?” With his clean hand Chan grabs Changbin’s knee to pull his legs apart and spread the leftover lube on his fingers around his rim.

When he still doesn’t get a response Chan angrily shoves two fingers into Changbin, slowly getting annoyed at the lack of response. Changbin allows the intrusion easily, eyes turning cross-eyed at something finally filling him, so he doesn’t feel like an incomplete mess anymore.

Chan repeats his nicknames, even his real name but Changbin just moans at every sound, grinding his hips down to try and get Chan to give him  _ more _ . Growling deep in his throat Chan pulls out at it and uses his other hand to harshly give a stinging spank to Changbin’s length.

It seems to finally wake him up from his frenzy, yelping in pain and back arching up. His face is that of betrayal, eyes wet with tears and lips pouting, because why would Chan do  _ that _ all of a sudden?

“Channie is mean. Slut w-was so close…” He whines bottom lip pushed out and it sounds so unlike Changbin, Chan thinks for a second that he is dreaming. Something in the way he suddenly uses third person for himself is so  _ cute _ , not at all fitting their current situation.

“I noticed that, baby, that’s why I stopped. Want you to come on my cock.”, Deliberately Chan bends down over Changbin, cradling his face in his hands. “How are you doing?” He hums as he presses a small kiss to the other’s lips.

“H-hurts… slut just finally wants to get used, Channie.” Changbin seems to be sobering up by the second, words becoming clearer and the pain in his groin ceasing to a bearable sting.

“You’ll have me in a second, just want to make sure you’re doing fine. Please drink something for me.” Chan grabs one of the bottles from Changbin’s nightstand, and opens it, holding it out for Changbin.

The other rapper just shakes his head, turning away because he doesn’t  _ care  _ about the water, just finally wanting Chan close and inside and fill up the huge hole inside of him, that needs more than just someone’s dick.

“Oh, _for_ _fucks_ _sake_ , you’re such a fucking brat. You can be glad I’m reaching my limit or else I would punish you and you wouldn’t get my cock for the next week.” Chan really means it and his tone has Changbin absolutely terrified because he doesn’t just _want_ Chan, he _needs_ him.

“No, please… Channie, slut needs you. Needs you to fuck him and ruin him and…  _ please _ Channie. Need you, need you,  _ need you _ !” He’s sobbing again lurching forward and nearly knocking the bottle out of Chan’s hands in an attempt to keep the other close, scared he will leave any second.

“Shut up for a second and you’ll get it, dumb slut.”, Chan uses all of his force to push Changbin back down, fingers pressing on each side of his face and forcing his mouth open firmly. “Swallow.”

He tips a bit of the water into his mouth, thanking the gods when he can see Changbin’s Adam's apple bob with each gulp. Releasing his face when Chan thinks it has been enough, he downs the rest of the liquid and tosses the bottle to the side.

It awakens his senses again, energizing him more and he is actually glad at the small pause Changbin’s episode has given him, now not feeling as close anymore. Perfect to properly ruin the other.

“Can you now finally be a good whore and push your hips up for me?” He growls, grabbing the pillow and basically yanking Changbin up himself, not even waiting for him to comply.

It has the rapper moan again, getting lost in Chan’s bruising touches and the way he is moving between his spread legs. Changbin tries to spread them even further, to make it as easy as possible for Chan to break him and the older smiles at his adorable eagerness.

He slicks himself up once more, before grazing his tip over Changbin’s opening, feeling his rim clench and unclench in search for Chan. Despite the wet heat beckoning him in, Chan tries to refrain the urge to fuck into Changbin, just teasing and dipping in ever so slightly before pulling away again. It makes Changbin’s head dizzy with continuous buildup and loss of touch, with the fear of when Chan will finally breach him, and it has him clench the duvet with his fists to try and steady himself.

“Hold on to me, baby.” Chan says leaning forward and using one hand to hold himself up. Changbin immediately complies and wraps his fingers around Chan’s strong arm with one hand, the other reaching out to his shoulder.

It happens right on time, because with the welcomed distraction Chan guides himself in, his other arm moving to steady himself next to Changbin’s head. He doesn’t halt until he is completely pushed in, despite Changbin clenching around him at the stretch.

It’s a delicious one at that, one that had Changbin burn with anticipation in the weeks Chan was gone. Now finally feeling this way again, so full and completely scorching from the inside out, feels like a feverish dream that all too soon might perish.

This is why Changbin digs his fingers into Chan’s upper arm like his life depends on it, sure to keep him close to never miss this feeling again. The way Changbin's cock involuntarily throbs against his own lower stomach, dribbling the tiniest spurts of precum, has him wrapping his legs tight around Chan’s middle, pulling him in further to cease the slight sizzling pain in his gut.

Chan feels like his arms might give out with the way Changbin is pressing into his muscles, the way he squeezes around him as if beckoning him into the deepest parts of his body. It takes a lot of willpower to keep his hips from moving, to keep steady and not get lost in the dazed expression on Changbin’s face.

“M-move.” Changbin all but whimpers, voice pulled tight with the feeling of finally being whole again, complete only with Chan inside.

The tone in Changbin’s broken voice sends Chan moaning, arms buckling and giving in, so he falls forward, bodies now flush together and foreheads pressed against each other. The sudden change in position involuntarily makes him pull out a bit, even the slightest bit of his length leaving Changbin’s heat enough to have Chan hiss as if in pain.

Rutting his hips forward and completely drowning himself in Changbin with a wet squelching sound again makes Chan’s eyes roll back.

_ Why does his brain suddenly only say  _ I love you I love you I love you  _ on repeat? _

“ _ Fucking hell _ .” Chan groans, pulling out till only his tip is left inside, ready to fuck his brain out of this romance spiral he finds himself trapped in.

Changbin is gasping at the loss, toes curling in the air and he chokes on his own spit when Chan thrusts in, finally that addicting force back where Changbin needs it most. He doesn’t get a chance to catch his breath again because Chan is picking up a bruising pace, not caring about their heads knocking against each other, or Changbin’s legs dangling loosely behind his back.

With fast snaps of his hips Chan is quickly covered in sweat again, wet skin slapping against wet skin where he meets Changbin’s thighs with each plow. Crowded together like they are it gets harder and harder to keep his stamina up, oxygen nearly non-existent between the panting moaning messes of their mouths.

Chan’s hips come to a slow grind when he pushes himself up, Changbin’s fingers finally loosening their grip that will surely leave bruises on his biceps for Chan to feel for the next few days.

Both of them are a sight to behold. Changbin’s chest flowering in marks and his face flushed pink, tears drying on his cheeks and the sweetest moans and sobs escaping his swollen lips. Chan is dripping in sweat, beads of it rolling down his chest and over his abs like he is melting wax in Changbin’s depths.

They are both encaptured, Chan not caring about his dick screaming at him to move, to finally stop torturing himself away from release. Changbin feels similarly throbbing, walls fucked swollen around Chan and clenching on their own accord, chasing after even the tiniest of motions Chan grants him.

Only when a single drop of sweat falls onto Changbin’s neglected cock, sizzling heat to his needy skin, he awakens with a moan, tears running free again, because he needs Chan to do something about this pain. To heal him up completely again.

“Ch-Chan…”, he sobs, frantic hands searching purpose desperately but not finding any. “Please, need you. Need you so bad.”

“Such a needy slut. You have my all and still beg for more, so precious.” Chan coos, reaching a hand out meaning to push a few stray strands of hair out of Changbin’s face but having it grasped midair by two clingy hands.

Changbin needs something, anything, to stop this horrible feeling of falling apart, to pull him together and keep him alive. The closest thing being his neck he brings Chan’s hand to the soft skin, using whatever leftover force he has to press him down.

The effect is almost immediate, as if Chan is really the only means to keep Changbin’s skin and body from dissolving the grip does just that. Chan’s mouth falls open in surprise, because Changbin is using his own hands to move Chan’s fingers closer and tighter around his throat.

“ _ Fuck _ , baby, you’re perfect, aren’t you?”, Changbin’s hips buck up at the praise, delicious friction having both throb after sinful abandonment. “Let me do it, little whore. I can help you.”

Changbin wants to scream, wants to moan and come because Chan seems to get him, to understand his deepest thoughts without explanation and it feels so good, feels like there is only the two of them left in a universe of pleasure.

Gratefully he lets his hands fall to the side, replaced by both of Chan’s that quickly tighten around Changbin’s neck. Knuckles digging into the sides but palms leaving space over his windpipe so the already panting rapper will be able to get air at least.

“Hands on my arms.”, it’s both an order and a desire, something in Chan keening at the sight of Changbin’s small shaking fingers clutching to his arms. “Tap two times if you need me to stop.”

Changbin doubts he knows how to count to two, brain mush from Chan  _ everywhere _ . In his nostrils, his ears, his eyes, all over his skin it’s  _ Chan _ . The older seems to sense it, loosening his grip a bit to get more of Changbin’s attention.

“Tap two times right now, baby. I know you can do it.” He soothingly says, bending down to his best ability and nuzzling against Changbin’s cheek.

The fleeting feeling of Changbin grazing his fingers down  _ one, two  _ times, makes Chan smile against his skin, moving to look into the other’s tear-filled eyes and press a quick peck to quivering lips.

“Good boy. Such a good slut for me, gonna fill you up so well.” He says, the loud moan from Changbin enough to spur him on to finally start with that then.

It’s like a completely different person has taken over Chan again, eyes dark and his hands tightening again as soon as he sits back up. Changbin is equally terrified and aroused, scared even, if his brain wouldn’t be in such a lusty overdrive.

He doesn’t have time to think about it because Chan is pulling out again, only to bury himself deep inside, harder than ever. It knocks every remaining huff of air from Changbin’s lungs, legs opening even wider to try and get Chan in as close as he can.

Each harsh thrust brings wrecked moans and yelps of pleasure to surface on Changbin’s lips, eyes closed because keeping them open would feel like too much under the reverent force Chan is inflicting upon him.

It doesn’t help that Chan’s fingers keep digging deeper and deeper into the sides of his neck, pressing down where his blood is rushing through his body in an already feverish fashion. Even if Changbin would open his eyes the only thing visible would be white and iridescent stars, planets and galaxies, undiscovered colours and angels and demons all the same.

The more lightheaded he becomes from Chan’s choking grip, the more intense the feeling in Changbin’s lower half becomes. Legs tingling, insides so full and then empty, only to be filled up completely again. To say his erection hurts would be an understatement, nearly purple at the tip and harder than ever before, not many thrusts off from finally finding release.

Only Chan realizes how Changbin’s earlier screams and moans die down to make space for the tiniest whimpers and sobs, mouth hanging open and spit dripping down his chin from pure pleasure. Only someone being inside of Changbin would be able to feel the slight tremble signaling that he is  _ so  _ close, ready to come at Chan’s mercy.

It makes Chan smile through his lust-clouded expression, one hand loosening its grip form Changbin’s throat to reach up and press two fingers against spit-slick swollen lips. Immediately Changbin’s tongue laps for them, begging them in and not even sucking when Chan pushes the digits completely inside, mere gnawing motions possible from a completely fucked out Changbin.

The rapper doesn’t even remember his name anymore, doesn’t remember anything but the electricizing feelings surging through his whole body. It takes a long while to realize Chan is speaking between moans, coaxing him back to reality. Only then does Changbin realize he is sucking on something, tongue tangled between two of Chan’s fingers.

“Baby, you can come. Come for me. Such a good boy.” Chan is trying his hardest to hold back, to not let the knot in his stomach snap right then and there, because he wants Changbin to be able to feel it, to be able to remember this moment in the future.

Thankfully the words finally sink in, Changbin’s eyes opening when painful pleasure shoots through him. The only thing he can see when he finally comes hot and heavy all over his stomach is Chan. Chan’s beautiful face. His neck, his arms. A small smile on Chan’s lips. A smile just for Changbin.  _ His Chan _ .

As if seeing God himself Changbin blacks out for a split second, body going limp under Chan, who quickly releases the grip around Changbin’s throat and bends down, hugging the boy to his best abilities while staying in the quivering mess of his hole.

When Changbin comes back to reality, Chan is there, right next to his face, unmoving inside of him to not hurt his oversensitive insides. Changbin wonders why Chan isn’t pulling out, why he isn’t already out of the room as per usual. He wonders why he is lying in a soft bed, why his cheeks feel so wet and why Chan’s eyes look at him in the most peculiar way.

When he realizes where he is and what happened, that they are doing this for such different reasons than usually, Changbin whines highly in his throat, hands grabbing to pull Chan close. He can’t help but clench around the fullness inside of him, painful now that the cloudy frenzy slowly oozes out of his system.

Chan can’t possibly hold back anymore, snapping his hips forward one last time to be completely buried inside for his final release. His head falls into the crook of Changbin’s neck, drowning in his smell when white spots begin dancing in Chan’s vision and he feels Changbin tremble around him and his release, slowly spreading deep inside of him.

It might be the way he is fucked raw, skin feeling puckered in every way, but to Changbin it feels like a soothing tincture spurting into the deepest parts of his body, feeling even fuller than before, even though Chan is softening up by the second, retreating and dangerously close to slip out. It poses to be Changbin’s worst nightmare.

“N-no!”, He sobs, clawing into Chan’s back because he can’t bare the thought of the other leaving. “Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me please. Please stay, Chan.  _ Please stay. _ ”

Changbin is crying again, his body feeling so used, utterly destroyed and even unmoving, Chan’s weight on him is too much. He still needs him there to keep Changbin from bursting with emotions.

“I’m here baby, I won’t leave.” Chan assures with a slurred voice, kissing a few of the tears from Changbin’s face while blindly reaching for the nightstand, opening the drawer and fumbling through its contents.

Finally grasping smooth silicone Chan sits up, body trembling from exertion and the tightness of Changbin squeezing every drop of life out of him. Changbin is still digging his nails into Chan’s skin trying to keep him close but failing because he is truly drained of all strength.

“I’ll never leave you again.” Chan promises as he pulls out, quickly pressing the anal plug to Changbin’s used hole to not lose any of his release.

Changbin’s body tries to fight the intrusion, hurting all over from Chan’s harsh treatment, but with soothing words the plug is allowed in, snugly marrying into the heat. Changbin doesn’t even really realize it, because Chan is intertwining their fingers during his task, spreading Changbin’s saliva over both of their hands but neither cares.

Finally, Chan settles down besides Changbin, legs tangling together and pulling the smaller into his chest. It takes a while for them to catch their breath and their hearts to beat normally again. When they finally have calmed down enough, reality comes crashing down on them.

Their skin sweatily sticks together, bodies feeling spent for days and need for hydration ruining their cuddle session noticeably. It’s Changbin who pulls back first, now realizing just  _ how  _ good he really felt during and what that could imply.

“Chan…” he begins, suddenly very worried that he is the only one with such strong feelings. Chan interrupts him with soothing words.

“It’s okay, Changbin. I feel the same.” Because they don’t need to put a label on it now. There will be a better time for that later.

“Y-you do?”, Changbin asks and his voice shows just how ruined he is. Chan just smiles at him and pecks him once more. “I’m glad.” Changbin hums and settles back in the crook of Chan’s neck.

“This is nicer than just running away, isn’t it?” Chan asks propping his head up on his hand to look down at Changbin, who looks so incredibly blissed out, Chan feels like a renaissance painter must have, when finding their muse.

“You don’t even know.” Changbin stumbles a bit over the words, feeling like he might slip away to dreamland any second.

“Before you fall asleep, let’s get you cleaned up and have a snack, okay?” Chan is already sitting up, muscles screaming at him to stop. He can’t imagine how Changbin must feel.

“Do we have to?” Changbin fights to keep his eyes open and look at Chan, still unbelieving that the other is actually there with him.

“Yes, we do. Also, the last time I peed was hours ago and I might explode if I don’t go immediately.” Chan chuckles at the way Changbin’s nose wrinkles at the words.

“As tempting as that sounds, I don’t think I can go another round.”, Changbin would laugh at Chan’s face if he wouldn’t feel so tired. “Plus, I  _ do  _ have a toilet, you know?”

“Why use a toilet when we have you?”, Chan really can’t hold back a fit of laughter because Changbin looks so utterly shocked, as if Chan really would be up for it right now. “I’m kidding, idiot. Let’s get us cleaned up.”

“Don’t call me idiot, asshole. And carry me, this is your work after all.” Changbin makes grabby hands to where Chan is looking at him like he’s in denial.

“Your mood swings will give me whiplash, I swear.” Chan chuckles as he sits down at the edge of the bed, waiting for Changbin to wrap his arms around his shoulders and his legs around his hips.

He sways a bit when Changbin has finally latched on and Chan stands up, leg muscles rebelling under the added weight but somehow, they manage to get to the bathroom alive, showering away any sticky remnants of their adventures and kissing each other breathless at the sighting of marks that will stay. Bruises on Chan’s arms and neck, all over Changbin’s torso, their twinkling eyes whenever they gaze at each other like they are looking at an angel.

_ Change is good after all.  _ Changbin thinks to himself when he soaps up Chan’s bleach-dry hair and scrapes away at the dirt and sweat from the night.

The next morning, Changbin can feel Chan all over himself when he wakes up. In the pain shooting up his spine, the burn between his legs and rub against his insides. As if only noticing now, he realizes there is indeed something rubbing against him, something keeping in a slick wetness that has Changbin burn up with memories from the night before.

He blindly searches for Chan next to him, unsuccessful but sure to find him somewhere in the room. Utterly disappointed Changbin realizes that Chan must have left, eyes daring to water up again if it wasn’t for the salty burn still left from the tears of the night before.

Over his frustration, Changbin doesn’t hear the cluttering of pots and pans, the sweet smell of something sugary filling the air, so when he makes for the bathroom, stepping into the living area, he is surprised by what he finds.

Chan is standing in front of the stove, clumsily flipping a pancake and he is wearing Changbin’s apron, nothing on underneath. The sight shouldn’t choke Changbin up as much, but it does, suddenly domestic warmth washing over him, because Chan is cooking breakfast for him, in  _ his _ apartment. Because he stayed after fucking him and slept there and Changbin still has Chan’s come stored inside of him, like a twisted declaration of love.

An accidental sound leaves his lips, alerting Chan of his presence who is quick to turn off the stove and push the pan to the side, making his way over. He wraps his arms around Changbin, bathing in the smell of citrussy shower gel and the familiar scent he came to love so much.

“Good morning.” Chan smiles and Changbin can’t help but straighten up and kiss the other, not caring about morning breath because finally he can kiss Chan like this, whenever he wants to.

Chan tangles one hand into Changbin’s dark hair and lets the other travel over his exposed back, feeling the skin erupt in goosebumps underneath every small dip and touch. He doesn’t even stop when he reaches the curve of Changbin’s ass, trailing his fingers between the cheeks and checking for the diamond to still be nuzzled comfortably on Changbin’s hole.

The other tenses up at the feeling of the plug being turned and twisted inside of him, pushed out ever so slightly over his swollen rim but being sucked back in again.

“I wanted to make you breakfast, but maybe we should wait a bit for that.” Chan mutters, already feeling affected by the way Changbin’s body is reacting to him.

“ _ Please _ ....” Changbin whines, legs trembling when Chan turns him around to bend him over the edge of the couch and pulls out the plug with a squelching wet sound. It takes only a second to feel Chan’s breath above his wet hole, where Changbin feels a warm liquid slowly make its way out.

“Whatever my slut wants.”

And maybe they ring in the start of their  _ real  _ relationship a bit unusually, Changbin coming just from Chan’s tongue and returning the favour with his already sore throat.

They wouldn’t want it any other way though. Definitely not.


End file.
